{"id":668,"date":"2020-01-09T03:08:00","date_gmt":"2020-01-09T09:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jasonmpalmer.com\/?p=668"},"modified":"2020-01-09T03:49:12","modified_gmt":"2020-01-09T09:49:12","slug":"what-to-say-to-a-foster-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2020\/01\/09\/what-to-say-to-a-foster-child\/","title":{"rendered":"What to say to a foster child?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Kids do not typically come into foster care without a good reason. Usually, there is some sort of trauma in their past and possibly in there present too. How do you talk to a child that has come through such a journey of unknown pain?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s just start by talking to them like they are people worthy of our time by listening to the stories they tell. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following is a story from one such moment. We weren\u2019t seasoned foster parents when we ran into this moment. It was actually our first placement that shared this poignant moment with us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Poignant Prayers<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDear God thank you for not letting my new mommy and daddy die.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is the prayer of a two-year-old baby girl. Sitting for dinner as a family, we always ask our children, \u201cwho wants to say the blessing.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Praying<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

On this night our baby girl says \u201cme, me, me.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said \u201cEveryone, quiet down and fold your hands. Were ready, go ahead baby girl.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was so not ready for the words that she spoke or the look of hope in her eyes. For the fact that new mommy and daddy survived the day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That night as I lay in bed, I let my tears flow. I cried for the loss and pain my babies had experienced at such a young age at the hands of addiction. You see my babies lived a life full of trauma, they have a past that I cannot erase. Just because they are adopted now doesn\u2019t make it disappear. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even after ten years, triggers will still raise trauma\u2019s ugly head and we try to see it for the trauma that it is. I will not share here story here other than to say losing a parent is painful and for them and it was brutal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My baby girl is 12 now and we still have conversations about death. Especially about my death, how much she will miss me, how long should she grieve, etc.\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The loss of a parent, that she suffered at such a young age will haunt her for the rest of her life. It deeply wounds my heart. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

No parent wants their child to hurt, they want to take that pain and suffering away. I cannot change her past – it is woven into the fabric of her being. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only thing I can do is reassure her that as long as God allows breath in my body mom will always be here and my baby she will always be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just Talk<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

So, if you want to know how to talk to a foster child – the answer is just to talk. They are just like your kids. Sometimes they are funny and sometimes they hurt. Connect with the heart of a child and if you listen closely you may come away with the wisdom of a toddler!
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kids do not typically come into foster care without a good reason. Usually, there is some sort of trauma in their past and possibly in there present too. How do you talk to a child that has come through such a journey of unknown pain? Let\u2019s just start by talking to them like they are…Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":591,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","libsyn-item-id":0,"libsyn-show-id":0,"libsyn-post-error":"","libsyn-post-error_post-type":"","libsyn-post-error_post-permissions":"true","libsyn-post-error_api":"","playlist-podcast-url":"","libsyn-episode-thumbnail":"","libsyn-episode-widescreen_image":"","libsyn-episode-blog_image":"","libsyn-episode-background_image":"","libsyn-post-episode-category-selection":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_thumbnail":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_theme":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_height":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_width":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_placement":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link_text":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_custom_color":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-explicit":"","libsyn-post-episode":"","libsyn-post-episode-update-id3":"","libsyn-post-episode-release-date":"","libsyn-post-episode-simple-download":"","libsyn-release-date":"","libsyn-post-update-release-date":"","libsyn-is_draft":"","libsyn-new-media-media":"","libsyn-post-episode-subtitle":"","libsyn-new-media-image":"","libsyn-post-episode-keywords":"","libsyn-post-itunes":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-season-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-type":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-title":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-author":"","libsyn-destination-releases":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-enabled":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-input-enabled":false,"libsyn-post-episode-premium_state":"","libsyn-episode-shortcode":"","libsyn-episode-embedurl":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[63,18,16,15],"tags":[56,19,78,83,81,82,80,79,77],"class_list":["post-668","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption","category-foster-care","category-foster-parenting","category-foster-stories","tag-foster","tag-foster-care","tag-foster-child","tag-foster-child-trauma","tag-foster-kid","tag-foster-kid-trauma","tag-trauma","tag-what-to-say","tag-what-to-say-to-a-foster-child"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":543,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2019\/12\/31\/what-is-the-reality-of-foster-care\/","url_meta":{"origin":668,"position":0},"title":"What is the reality of foster care?","author":"Jason","date":"December 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I can only really give you the perspective of a foster parent, and my view of the experience. My experience has been almost exclusively with young children who would struggle to put a few sentences together. So, I can not tell you what their thoughts were, but I can tell\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Foster Care"","block_context":{"text":"Foster Care","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/category\/foster-care\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"young girl","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/girl-wearing-black-and-white-striped-dress-sitting-on-stair-1139613-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/girl-wearing-black-and-white-striped-dress-sitting-on-stair-1139613-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/girl-wearing-black-and-white-striped-dress-sitting-on-stair-1139613-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/girl-wearing-black-and-white-striped-dress-sitting-on-stair-1139613-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/girl-wearing-black-and-white-striped-dress-sitting-on-stair-1139613-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2292,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2023\/03\/27\/complex-trauma-with-andrea-hanson\/","url_meta":{"origin":668,"position":1},"title":"Complex Trauma with Andrea Hanson","author":"Jason","date":"March 27, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Andrea has worked with clients across the globe who are seeking a deep recalibration from a state of trauma response to a state of self-love, creativity, wholeness, and flow. Andrea has dedicated years of training to become highly specialized and effective in artfully blending a mosaic of techniques from body\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"adoption\"","block_context":{"text":"adoption","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/tag\/adoption\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Andrea-Hanson-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Andrea-Hanson-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Andrea-Hanson-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Andrea-Hanson-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Andrea-Hanson-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2037,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2022\/01\/20\/foster-care-through-the-eyes-of-michael-unbroken\/","url_meta":{"origin":668,"position":2},"title":"Foster Care Through the Eyes of Michael Unbroken","author":"Jason","date":"January 20, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Michael hosts the Think Unbroken Podcast. His life led him through trauma and a truly unique path through the world of foster care! His story can help all of us begin to see our world through the lens of healing wounds. https:\/\/www.ThinkUnbrokenPodcast.com You can find him everywhere online @michaelunbroken Michael\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Michael-Unbroken-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Michael-Unbroken-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Michael-Unbroken-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Michael-Unbroken-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Michael-Unbroken-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":563,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2020\/01\/07\/can-a-working-parent-foster-kids\/","url_meta":{"origin":668,"position":3},"title":"Can a working parent foster kids?","author":"Jason","date":"January 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"The truth is that there are very few things that we can\u2019t make work in our lives. If you are pulled or led, or if you feel driven towards helping a specific group - you can make it work. I am not saying it will not be hard. Most likely\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adventure"","block_context":{"text":"Adventure","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/category\/adventure\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/yellow-hard-hat-on-brown-and-yellow-fireman-s-suit-162540-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/yellow-hard-hat-on-brown-and-yellow-fireman-s-suit-162540-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/yellow-hard-hat-on-brown-and-yellow-fireman-s-suit-162540-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/yellow-hard-hat-on-brown-and-yellow-fireman-s-suit-162540-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/yellow-hard-hat-on-brown-and-yellow-fireman-s-suit-162540-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2270,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2022\/12\/26\/heal-thrive-dream-with-karen-robinson-lcsw\/","url_meta":{"origin":668,"position":4},"title":"Heal Thrive Dream with Karen Robinson, LCSW","author":"Jason","date":"December 26, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Episode Description Karen Robinson, MSW, ACSW, LCSW Trauma Recovery Expert I'm a licensed therapist with 24 years of clinical experience specializing in trauma recovery, anxiety, and depression. I provide holistic care to create transformation and healing for trauma survivors. https:\/\/www.Karenrobinson360.com https:\/\/www.healthrivedream.com\/ Heal Thrive Dream Podcast Foster Care: An Unparalleled Journey\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adoption"","block_context":{"text":"Adoption","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/category\/adoption\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Karen-Robinson-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Karen-Robinson-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Karen-Robinson-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Karen-Robinson-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Karen-Robinson-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1729,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2021\/01\/22\/a-foster-kid-road-to-success\/","url_meta":{"origin":668,"position":5},"title":"A Foster Kid’s Road To Success","author":"Jason","date":"January 22, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Becoming a foster kid I grew up all around Oahu, Hawaii, and throughout Utah.\u00a0 From age six until eighteen, I was a foster kid, changing homes twenty times between Oahu and Utah. How did a foster kid from Hawaii end up in Utah? After my siblings and I went into\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Author\"","block_context":{"text":"Author","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/tag\/author\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"A Foster Kid's Road to Success with Robert P K Mooney","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/A-foster-kids-road-to-success-1.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/A-foster-kids-road-to-success-1.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/A-foster-kids-road-to-success-1.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/A-foster-kids-road-to-success-1.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/A-foster-kids-road-to-success-1.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbv0Lz-aM","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/DSC_3516-scaled.jpg?fit=2560%2C1702&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/668","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=668"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/668\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":674,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/668\/revisions\/674"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/591"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=668"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=668"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=668"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}