{"id":449,"date":"2019-12-10T03:31:39","date_gmt":"2019-12-10T09:31:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jasonmpalmer.com\/?p=449"},"modified":"2020-01-05T22:18:00","modified_gmt":"2020-01-06T04:18:00","slug":"stress-free-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2019\/12\/10\/stress-free-holidays\/","title":{"rendered":"Stress-Free Holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

All of us have, are, or are going to struggle with fighting boundary issues around the Holidays. It is just inevitable that someone wants you to change your schedule to meet theirs, show up with (or without) kids for their special event at a time that just doesn’t work with the limitations of your calendar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remember when Amanda and my first Christmas together. We were expected to find a way to make it to my Mom’s house, my Dad’s house, Amanda’s Mom’s place, and if there was the time her step-dads as well. Oh yeah, and there were Grandparents to appease too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The whole day was spent unpacking kids, making sure everyone was polite and said “Hi” to everyone, a quick gift exchange, and a reminder not to open any packages because we had to leave soon. Then we hurried off to the next place so we could do it again. It was a mad rush to be certain everyone in the family got the opportunity to experience Christmas the way they wanted to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The problem became that by the end of the day we were exhausted, and all of our relatives got to feel like they had an opportunity to enjoy the visits of all the kids, but the kids never got to enjoy any of Christmas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After that year, I was determined to change the way we handled our family Holidays. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next year I implemented a plan that has lasted for the last 2 decades. We decided that our family deserved to have control of their Holiday and it was my job to ensure that we figured out how to do it. I told everyone that we would be more than willing to stop by and celebrate Christmas with them on any day except Christmas Day. That was reserved for us to celebrate as a nuclear family at our home. Some years we make it by the Grandparent’s place and some years we don’t. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My kids have loved the memories that we have made over the years just spending time together instead of trying to run around like a flock of proverbial headless chickens. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

There are a few things that they kids expect every year though. They know that we will get up on Christmas morning and have our own gift exchange in our home. After that, we will spend time talking and playing as a family with no expectations of going anywhere (except to the gas station to buy over-priced batteries that we overlooked buying in the first place). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then comes breakfast. Breakfast is the same every year – it is a homemade breakfast pizza made from scrambled eggs, sausage gravy made the old fashioned way, and a ton of cheese; all on top of a croissant pizza crust. There will be a lot of pizza made and eaten for breakfast and lunch, and who knows – maybe even dinner too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If our family and friends want to come out, they are all welcome to show up at any time throughout the day. We will welcome them with love and food. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a simple but expected and cherished family tradition. My kids have loved the memories that we have made over the years just spending time together instead of trying to run around like a flock of proverbial headless chickens. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a boundary that we learned to draw around our family and our time together. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I learned the power of healthy boundaries a little later in life when I found the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend<\/a> a few years later. The power of saying no to some things, so that I could say yes to the things that matter has made a huge impact on our life as a family!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

If you struggle with clear boundaries, this is a wonderful book. The only warning I will attach to it is to be cautious in loaning out your copy. I have bought it at least three times over the years and I still haven’t gotten one of them back!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Own your Holidays this year and start your own tradition – or stop by and enjoy our with us!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

All of us have, are, or are going to struggle with fighting boundary issues around the Holidays. It is just inevitable that someone wants you to change your schedule to meet theirs, show up with (or without) kids for their special event at a time that just doesn’t work with the limitations of your calendar….Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","libsyn-item-id":0,"libsyn-show-id":0,"libsyn-post-error":"","libsyn-post-error_post-type":"","libsyn-post-error_post-permissions":"","libsyn-post-error_api":"","playlist-podcast-url":"","libsyn-episode-thumbnail":"","libsyn-episode-widescreen_image":"","libsyn-episode-blog_image":"","libsyn-episode-background_image":"","libsyn-post-episode-category-selection":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_thumbnail":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_theme":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_height":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_width":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_placement":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link_text":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_custom_color":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-explicit":"","libsyn-post-episode":"","libsyn-post-episode-update-id3":"","libsyn-post-episode-release-date":"","libsyn-post-episode-simple-download":"","libsyn-release-date":"","libsyn-post-update-release-date":"","libsyn-is_draft":"","libsyn-new-media-media":"","libsyn-post-episode-subtitle":"","libsyn-new-media-image":"","libsyn-post-episode-keywords":"","libsyn-post-itunes":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-season-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-type":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-title":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-author":"","libsyn-destination-releases":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-enabled":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-input-enabled":false,"libsyn-post-episode-premium_state":"","libsyn-episode-shortcode":"","libsyn-episode-embedurl":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[17],"tags":[30,26,31,28,32,27,29],"class_list":["post-449","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting","tag-boundaries","tag-christmas","tag-healthy-boundaries","tag-holidays","tag-parenting","tag-stress","tag-traditions"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":523,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2019\/12\/26\/merry-christmas-sorta\/","url_meta":{"origin":449,"position":0},"title":"Merry Christmas – Sorta…","author":"Jason","date":"December 26, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Are you a \u201ccountdown to next Christmas 364 days out\u201d sorta person, or more of Bah Hum Bug, \u201cits over, now leave me alone for a year\u201d kind?\u00a0 Most of us fall somewhere on that continuum. But there are a few of us who are on a whole different plane.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Foster Care"","block_context":{"text":"Foster Care","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/category\/foster-care\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/adult-alone-anxious-black-and-white-568027-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/adult-alone-anxious-black-and-white-568027-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/adult-alone-anxious-black-and-white-568027-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/adult-alone-anxious-black-and-white-568027-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/adult-alone-anxious-black-and-white-568027-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/adult-alone-anxious-black-and-white-568027-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":836,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2020\/01\/31\/balancing-parenting-styles\/","url_meta":{"origin":449,"position":1},"title":"Balancing parenting styles","author":"Jason","date":"January 31, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"For as long as I can remember my wife and me have had different parenting styles with our children. Whether it is Foster kids, adopted kids, bio kids, or just kids from the neighborhood hanging around the house we are just wired differently. Don\u2019t et me wrong, we have similar\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Foster Parenting"","block_context":{"text":"Foster Parenting","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/category\/foster-parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"balancing parents","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/man-lying-down-on-mat-while-lifting-woman-1139489-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C813&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/man-lying-down-on-mat-while-lifting-woman-1139489-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C813&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/man-lying-down-on-mat-while-lifting-woman-1139489-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C813&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/man-lying-down-on-mat-while-lifting-woman-1139489-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C813&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/man-lying-down-on-mat-while-lifting-woman-1139489-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C813&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":543,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2019\/12\/31\/what-is-the-reality-of-foster-care\/","url_meta":{"origin":449,"position":2},"title":"What is the reality of foster care?","author":"Jason","date":"December 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I can only really give you the perspective of a foster parent, and my view of the experience. My experience has been almost exclusively with young children who would struggle to put a few sentences together. So, I can not tell you what their thoughts were, but I can tell\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Foster Care"","block_context":{"text":"Foster Care","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/category\/foster-care\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"young girl","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/girl-wearing-black-and-white-striped-dress-sitting-on-stair-1139613-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/girl-wearing-black-and-white-striped-dress-sitting-on-stair-1139613-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/girl-wearing-black-and-white-striped-dress-sitting-on-stair-1139613-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/girl-wearing-black-and-white-striped-dress-sitting-on-stair-1139613-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/girl-wearing-black-and-white-striped-dress-sitting-on-stair-1139613-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2033,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2022\/01\/02\/brain-science-in-foster-care-with-lauren-spigelmyer\/","url_meta":{"origin":449,"position":3},"title":"Brain Science in Foster Care with Lauren Spigelmyer","author":"Jason","date":"January 2, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Parenting and educating children is one of the greatest experiences in life, but it comes with plenty of emotionally draining challenges. Join behavioral health specialist Lauren Spigelmyer each week as she discusses strategies and tips for how to hack your brain, build and strengthen relationships, and teach people how to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/lauren-spiegelmeyer-1500-1.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/lauren-spiegelmeyer-1500-1.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/lauren-spiegelmeyer-1500-1.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/lauren-spiegelmeyer-1500-1.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/lauren-spiegelmeyer-1500-1.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/lauren-spiegelmeyer-1500-1.png?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":496,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2019\/12\/22\/4-ways-to-help-foster-kids-and-families\/","url_meta":{"origin":449,"position":4},"title":"4 ways to help foster kids and families","author":"Jason","date":"December 22, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Ever thought that you would love to be able to help a kid in foster care, but didn\u2019t know how? Would you like to help, but you can not become a foster family right now? Well here are 4 simple ways that you can make a difference today. Get involved\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Foster Care"","block_context":{"text":"Foster Care","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/category\/foster-care\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/close-up-photo-of-man-wearing-black-suit-jacket-doing-thumbs-684385-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/close-up-photo-of-man-wearing-black-suit-jacket-doing-thumbs-684385-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/close-up-photo-of-man-wearing-black-suit-jacket-doing-thumbs-684385-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/close-up-photo-of-man-wearing-black-suit-jacket-doing-thumbs-684385-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/close-up-photo-of-man-wearing-black-suit-jacket-doing-thumbs-684385-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/close-up-photo-of-man-wearing-black-suit-jacket-doing-thumbs-684385-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2306,"url":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/2023\/05\/07\/autistic-me-with-christopher-scott-wyatt\/","url_meta":{"origin":449,"position":5},"title":"Autistic Me with Christopher Scott Wyatt","author":"Jason","date":"May 7, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Dr. Christopher Scott Wyatt is an autistic self-advocate and father of two neurodiverse daughters. He earned a doctorate while researching online education for students with autism spectrum disorders. His experiences living with physical and neurological differences shape his parenting. Wyatt consults with schools, businesses, and non-profit organizations on issues of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adoption"","block_context":{"text":"Adoption","link":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/category\/adoption\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Christopher-Scottt-Wyatt-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Christopher-Scottt-Wyatt-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Christopher-Scottt-Wyatt-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Christopher-Scottt-Wyatt-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/fostercarenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Christopher-Scottt-Wyatt-1500.png?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbv0Lz-7f","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=449"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":666,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449\/revisions\/666"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=449"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=449"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fostercarenation.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=449"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}