Trouble Helping Kids in Foster Care with Sheila Duncan

Jason Palmer 0:32
Hello, welcome back to foster care and unparalleled journey with just Jason. Amanda’s off taking care of kids today, we were back to school after a holiday break and their zoom meetings and there’s wellness. And she has to be there to take care of that so that they get educated. That’s important today. And so as it happens, it’s just me here today with my guest, Sheila Duncan. I’m happy to talk to Sheila, She’s the author of the book, here’s trouble. And the follow up book, where there’s trouble there’s hope. And the third book just not coming out. troubles in trouble. Trouble is a dog that she had a book written about in a toy created about and I saw trouble the dog as as dogs go. Stuffed dogs go he made it on the news. I’m just gonna say that’s a pretty awesome feat for little inanimate guy. And he has brought a lot of comfort to a lot of people. And I will put in the shownotes a link so that you can see her friend darious, who is the one who’s kind of been the impetus for this whole story to just blow up and take off. Sheila, how are you doing today? I’m doing great today. Jason, thank you for having me on your show. Thank you. Hey, it’s great to have you here. You’re talking about helping kids. And that’s the thing that that we’re all about here. So we want to talk to you today about kind of all the trouble the dog story is a big part of it. But also your your friend areas here. How did you guys get connected? And how have you guys really, really begun this journey together? Well, first of all, this is this is trouble. The dog

Sheila Duncan 2:10
troubled came to be back in 2006. My niece Kendra Duncan, we had lost a lot of family members to cancer. So she lost her grandmother, her nanny who was in our books, our family, dog Irish, who was a golden retriever, and her dad, boom, boom, boom, right in a row. Wow. So she was at my house one night and the St. Jude she was just doodling and the St. Jude telethon came on. And she looked up and she said, Oh, I have to help those kids. And she just went boom. And she drew

a little dog. She came on my computer, she came back she said his name is going to be trouble. And he’s going to help kids. And I thought, wow,

that’s interesting. It was like one of those divine downloads that you hear about, you know what Oprah?

Definitely meant to be because people were drawn into this drawing, which was a series of circles. So fast forward, I was introduced to a toy manufacturer toy licensor through a neighbor of mine, who initially said, I don’t want to have anything to do with a dog named trouble. And I said, Oh, can you just give me 10 minutes, gave me 10 minutes of his time. At the time we had a coloring book, Kendra had done like a little comic book strip, about a puppy who was abandoned a puppy who was rescued by a nanny, and a puppy who in turn paid it forward to also rescue other puppies going through a variety of problems.

Unknown Speaker 0:00
Foster Care

Jason Palmer 0:00
nation. Listen, this is

a string for the powerless courage for the fearful hope and healing for wounded hearts.

Sheila Duncan 3:49
So he looked up at me, I’ll never forget it after looking at the coloring book. And he said, I think you’ve got something here. But you need a children’s book in you need a plush animal. And I thought, Oh, how am I going to do that? So long story short, he connected me with his Chinese manufacturer, who would never have spoken to me if it wasn’t for him. We had the following year, we received 1500 trouble dogs that were delivered to my garage on December 1 2007. Because it was 90 degrees. That’s how come I remember it since that. Since that day, we have been we placed another order then decided to have trouble manufactured here in the United States. And trouble has now traveled the world comforting kids.

To answer your question about darious. Trouble has been distributed through different channels you know people would purchase trouble to be donated or People would give trouble as gifts, whatever it happened to be. And I was actually at a show a local show with trouble and sign. It was like a book signing to. And a woman came up to me and she said, Are you the Creator, the CO creator, I suppose you would say, of trouble? I said, Yes. She said, Well, I need to tell you a story. She said my child derrius was adopted through foster care by us after a tough start in life. And he was given a troubled dog as a coping mechanism, a troubled dog. And I think first trouble book. She said, I need to tell you, he had been adopted by them. It was it was years later, she said, I need to tell you he has received so much comfort from this dog. This dog is magical for Darrius that we want to do something to get trouble back to kids that are still in foster care. Well, between derrius and his parents, they have purchased I want to say I think they’re at close to 190 trouble dogs and books so far. And they’re being directly delivered to children who are still in foster care. And this boy is a so pure of heart. It’s just been phenomenal. And yes, he was on the news. Christmas Eve day. His dad is a head of the D pw and ever. And after delivering trouble to kids in foster care in Chelmsford, mass in Wakefield mass in Danvers mass, which he did with the help of Santa Claus, actually, he decided he wanted trouble to go to the Everett police department to have a new cruisers for a child that might be removed from home. He says that he wants trouble with these kids. So when they go to an unknown home, they’ll have trouble with them. So they won’t be afraid, which is so powerful. He just turned nine, you know? And in troubles, his best friend. So that’s a nutshell version of how I came to meet derrius.

Jason Palmer 7:19
Wow. Well, in my experience, nine year old boys aren’t always trying to help other boys. Other kids.

Sheila Duncan 7:25
Correct? Correct. Yeah.

Jason Palmer 7:27
Sounds like a kid with it with quite a golden heart there.

Sheila Duncan 7:30
That’s it? You know what? That’s that’s a perfect, perfect way to put it. Yes.

Jason Palmer 7:34
Yeah, cuz not every kid is wired that way. But it also sounds like he’s been through his own level of trauma, learn to learn to walk through it and found a way to do that. And that’s really powerful for him to be able to do that.

Sheila Duncan 7:47
The holster every time I see him he brings tears to my eyes, this kid. So I’ll give you an example. The day that I met him, he he gave out I’ve got pictures too. He gave out 77 travel dogs and books to kids who are still in foster care with you because you couldn’t do it at a party or anything without like a drive by. So a car would pull up. There would be a foster family with you know, children. Depending on how many kids were in the car, he would deliver, you know, two dogs, three dogs, whatever it was, and then Santa Claus would deliver books, and also gifts, you know, because it was sponsored by the Salem rotary? Well, it is towards the end of the day one of the workers or might have been an elf. I don’t know. So derrius I wonder if Santa Claus will ever present for you. He doesn’t miss a beat. And he says, You know what, this is my present to be able to give trouble to these kids. Because I know how much comfort he’s going to give them.

Unknown Speaker 8:53
So Wow. Yeah, yeah. speaks volumes.

Sheila Duncan 8:56
It tears to your eyes.

Jason Palmer 8:59
That speaks volumes to the to his ability to work with really good people, especially like, you know, when you have Santa Claus as your helper. I mean,

Sheila Duncan 9:06
Santa Claus, Santa Claus actually was dairy’s his helper that day.

Jason Palmer 9:10
Yeah, that that says a lot about him. So the story has come about and really, it was one of those things that we don’t always understand what’s going to help kids. Right. And I’m just curious, in your own in your own life. You’ve seen this really helped a lot of kids. How’s that? How’s that been for you to see this come around and become such a big thing? Because I’m assuming that you didn’t start life with the idea that I’m going to create this. That’s not what you should

Sheila Duncan 9:38
No, no, no.

The way that it came in, that’s a very interesting question. The way this came about, I’ve never had children. My niece is like my child, I suppose you would say we’re very, very close. I call her my soul sister because she also was very pure of heart. And I mean, we were just when I saw that drawing, I knew there was something special about the way that it happened because it was so instant it was just boom, there it was. To this day, she says to me, I can’t believe I chose the name trouble for him. So it was almost like whatever you want to call it, divinely inspired, divine download whatever you want to call it. There’s something really big happening with this. We had initially, we had a we did a coloring book. And we also had little medallions made up with troubles image on the front. And then on the back on the front, it said, trouble says be tough. And on the back, it would say when there’s trouble, there’s hope. This was in the very beginning. And kids would say, you know, I robbed that medallion. It makes me feel better. And I thought, Oh, that’s, you know, that’s really cool. Well, as time goes on this and the same thing about trouble, they tell me that, and you can’t make this stuff up. Because I mean, hundreds of kids have said to me, trouble has an energy and I can feel it. I talked to trouble. And he answers me. You know, so whatever is going on here is really much it’s much bigger than me, whatever your belief system is, this whole thing is, is much bigger than me. I had no experience with toy manufacturing, or writing a book or any of that, you know, it’s just it’s been a journey of meeting wonderful people such as yourself, who let us tell a story who lead to for us to meet somebody else who wants to hear a story, you know?

Jason Palmer 11:55
Absolutely. I’ve got a little guy who, who has a couple a couple toys that talked to him already. And I need him to tell them to be quiet at bedtime. So maybe hopefully troubles got some good bedtime manners.

Sheila Duncan 12:08
Well, yes and trouble though. Darrius did tell me not too too long ago. derrius is loves wrestling. And he’s crazy about john cena, the wrestler and the rock and all that kind of stuff. And he tells me that every once in a while trouble will get into a wrestling match. And you know, he doesn’t always when he tells me so. Yeah, there’s there’s a lot of imagination. And trouble allows kids to express themselves, you know, when they pick them up. When you think of what a real comfort dog does for people, trouble does this 24 seven. So if they have something to talk about, they will have trouble and maybe hopefully go and speak with their caregiver or their parents in trouble allows them to feel safe to open up about what’s going on in their minds.

Jason Palmer 13:04
You know, if you walk into the psychology of all this and listen to people like the information that Karen Purvis put out before she passed away, she had a lot of information about about what this really means on the psychology side of finding ways to cope with problems, finding ways to connect with your emotions, finding ways to even reframe situations. And that’s, that’s where the title of your second book really hit me where there’s trouble. There’s hope. Yes. And I’ve seen the cover of your book there, where you have hoped to hope who shows up as a character in the book.

Sheila Duncan 13:39
Yeah, she who she is right here. Can you see it?

Jason Palmer 13:42
Yep, yep, she’s right there.

Sheila Duncan 13:44
Yeah. And hope starts out and this resonated with with derrius as well. She starts out as a puppy who’s never had a home. And she’s rescued by trouble and his posse of puppies. And they bring her back she’s found in a snowbank and they bring her back to Nani is a central character in a book series also based on troubles, you know, real grandmother and my mother. And she provides an unusual family but it’s a safe haven for these puppies to go to.

Jason Palmer 14:19
You know, it’s interesting that you have the character nanny in the book, that’s a name you don’t hear many people use these days. That’s actually a nickname for our our 13 year old daughter is she’s been honey since day one.

Sheila Duncan 14:30
Isn’t that funny? That’s funny. We can’t figure out when when before Kendra was going to be born. We said to my mother, what do you think you’re going to have this baby call you? She said Oh, I’m going to have her call me Nani? Well, you know my mother was a little Irish woman. So you know Nani’s Italian. We don’t know how it happened. But Nani it is.

Jason Palmer 14:52
Well, I know how it happened in our house. Her brother could not pronounce her name and so it just went to Nani. It was easier than

Sheila Duncan 15:01
It’s a great it’s a great name though.

Jason Palmer 15:05
Their foster care nation, we’d like to take a quick minute to step out of the podcast here and ask you guys for a little bit of support, if you could share an episode with people, friends, in a group, with family, anywhere where there’s somebody who would like to hear this. Also, if you’d like to join us and support our mission, a couple dollars a month would be really helpful. You can find us on patreon@patreon.com slash foster care nation now back to the show. But you know, the idea of reframing people’s situations, especially for young kids of where there’s hope there’s or where there’s trouble, there’s hope. Yeah. Because my goodness, how many of these kids in foster care and adoption is a lot of what we talked about, it’s obviously where derrius came from. But you don’t have to be a kid who came out of foster care or adoption, to experience some trauma and some trouble and have to learn how to how to work their way through that. And the idea that you’re bringing hope in as a central character so that kids can begin to reframe that story in their own mind. Yes, super helpful. What what inspired that?

Sheila Duncan 16:10
You know, I worked on that second book, we have a We have wonderful women that that helped me. And one of them is a woman who works on the creative part on our websites and stuff, Carrie schluter. Very, very inspiring to me. And another woman is Melanie Fleming who she’d said, you know, hope at that point was a puppy that Kendra and I worked on it, but we hadn’t really developed it. And Melanie said, you know, you’ve got to get hope out in a book. And I thought, huh, so anyway, she and I work together, I wanted hope to be found, you know, just like a little speck of dust. And she’s sort of, you know, glamoured her up a little bit and, you know, made her a little more approachable in a snowbank. So I’m so fortunate, you know, to have these women, I have another woman too, who helps me with keeps me in line with bookkeeping. And, you know, they all see the magic of what’s going on with this with this little puppy, whatever you want to call it. So that’s how it came to be is that Melanie said, you know, kids need hope today. It’s time to get this book out. So we did.

Jason Palmer 17:28
Yeah, I’m not gonna disagree with you there a bit. Kids need hope today. That’s something Oh, my goodness. I mean, cuz how many kids? Do we do we know that, that you can look at and think that they probably need a certain level of help that they’re not getting.

Sheila Duncan 17:44
Oh, yeah, you know, what I’m hearing a lot of lately. And I’m, and this was actually even before the pandemic, is a lot of kids having night terrorists. When I was a kid, we call them nightmares, but now they call them night terrorism. troubles been very helpful with kids going through stuff like that. And these are kids who have loving homes, you know, they have a mother and father and it’s, it’s just kids are anxious today. I think kids today are more stressed pandemic aside that they’ve ever been.

Jason Palmer 18:22
Absolutely, absolutely. Anxiety has been on the rise for quite a while I’ve noticed in culture, and kids today are dealing with a lot more things than they ever have before. And yes, parents are busy watching, you know, your personal favorite news station. I don’t, I don’t dive off into all that. But you know, whether or not you believe one side of the politics or the other people get really wound up in that. And then their anxiety just just runs through the house.

Sheila Duncan 18:50
And it all trickles down to the kids.

Jason Palmer 18:53
Yes, it does. The kids ended up internalizing a lot of that anxiety, and they don’t understand most of the parents don’t understand it. And we don’t have a way to handle it. Now. If anybody’s going to listen to this podcast for any time at all, you’ve heard me mentioned the dads group that I’m a part of. And as part of that dads group, we go through some regular content. One of the things we’re dealing with right now is understanding anger and patience to some extent, but a lot of learning how to deal with anger as dads because men today, on large part have never been taught the skill. And it’s funny, you mentioned that the coin too, that you guys had made up. One of the things that we have that passed out from time to time, a little challenge coins, and Dr. Nix Othello’s actually wrote all of our content that we’re going through right now. And he talks about using something like that whether it’s just a small worry stone or a coin with a raised piece on it, things like that. It actually has scientific background that you can see where it’s something like that with a tactile feel. Give me something like that so they can feel it or even trouble the dog who has a very soft feel.

Sheila Duncan 19:58
You have one dog 100% correct. And, you know, we get when you talk about science backed information. A while back, we a scientist was trying to figure out what was going on with trouble the dog. So we had us do a very small study, asking kids, you know, control questions how troubled made them feel? You know, I mean, this this long. And the result was that trouble elicited safety, comfort, hope, and love in kids. And you know, I mean, you you can’t deny if something’s going to help someone, then be it a worry stone coin type of thing for dad, or something soft also tactile for a child. And, you know, it’s, it’s whatever works these days is in my opinion.

Jason Palmer 20:53
Absolutely. Absolutely. And as dads we usually don’t walk around with, with a troubled the dog to carry around or people look at us a little bit funny.

Sheila Duncan 21:02
Do you want me to make Can I just interrupt you for a second join and make you laugh? I’m gonna tell you a story. All right, we brought trouble down to Walter Reed Army Hospital down to Washington, DC. And there were soldiers there that were injured beyond your wildest imagination. And we I think we had maybe 200 dogs and books to deliver to these guys to give them comfort and make them smile. The reaction that we got from these men, was it was life changing for me, because it was something because they need something to hang on to, you know, so I can look you right in the eye and tell you that there are Marines. There are police officers, and they’re sleeping with trouble a dog.

Jason Palmer 21:52
I think he can probably stay in the hospital room or in the bed. But if you bring him into a boardroom, people might look at you a little funny,

Sheila Duncan 22:00
anybody who was this little guy?

Jason Palmer 22:07
But But when we’re dealing with kids, these are exactly the sorts of things that instantly bring comfort, because kids no stuffed animals.

Sheila Duncan 22:14
That’s correct. Yeah,

Jason Palmer 22:15
I have a 13 year old daughter, and I’m not going to say there’s a whole bunch and embarrass her or anything like that. But every young girl at some point in their life, if they had a healthy childhood, even some that didn’t probably had a bed full of stuffed animals. It’s the sort of thing that brings them comfort. Yes. And, and you guys not only have brought that, but you’ve brought a story to go along with it. Yes. Not just any story, but a story that involves hope. Correct. And the third book that you guys have coming out now, it sounds like it’s bringing some real life into it too. Because the title being troubles in trouble. Yes, kind of tells us what real life is. And as kids don’t get a chance to experience that yet. They will. But that’s a part of real life. We’re all going to deal with that trouble.

Sheila Duncan 23:01
And you know, I’m glad you brought that up. Because when I when I sat with Kendra, you know, we decided to do a third book. Because kids were clamoring for it. I said, Okay, well, how are we going to what should we write about? And she looked at me? And she said, Well, you know, trouble has been helping kids and dogs and you know, comforting everybody since the beginning. I think it’s time now that he gets into trouble. And I was like, ooh, I don’t know about that. But she said, You know what, just what you just said, it’s real. It’s life. He needs to get into trouble. And that’s exactly what happened.

Jason Palmer 23:40
Yeah, I have plenty of my own kids who can attest to that, that, yeah, kids all get in trouble at some point. And being able to do you have being able to realize that it’s a part of their life can be

Sheila Duncan 23:50
perfect all the time.

Jason Palmer 23:52
Yeah. Except it not not grow that shame and guilt that so many of us as adults have lived with the shame and guilt of whatever it is in our life somewhere along the way that we experience. And they can learn to deal with that at a young age. And I think what you’re doing here speaks volumes to what we as a generation, and the generation before us and the one before that did not have in their life.

Sheila Duncan 24:17
It’s true. And you know what this book we introduce, which is part of the reason why we wanted to do it a new brand new character. And he I don’t know if you can see him on troubles knows. He’s just a little tiny spark. And his name is Clarence, and he is a reflection of troubles emotions, so he lands on troubles, nose tries to keep him out of trouble. And what he will do is try to guide trouble. He knows of trouble sad or nervous or worried or happy or whatever it happens to be. So we use this book to introduce him and we also So can you see this page? So this is Claire, his name is Clarence, and we call him his kind of cranky. So we call him a little orb with an edge. He’s a little edge edgy. But he allows kids to point to his different images to point out their emotions. And that’s what’s happening is that they will point and they’ll say, can you get troubles book, I want to let you know how I’m feeling. And you know what, that’s powerful to me, that they’re utilizing not only trouble to comfort them, but they’re utilizing Clarence to to let their parents or, or their foster parents know, they’re how they’re feeling.

Jason Palmer 25:41
That’s one of the things that people of my generation probably are not terribly good at. And at least I’m not I know. And that’s part of the part of the stuff we’ve been talking to. And we’re working through right now in the group I was mentioning, because as grown adult men, most of us have a difficult time connecting with our emotions, we’re very either over connected or under connected. Yeah, and most men tend to be over connected with anger. Yep. And under connected with the rest of them. And understanding that there’s, you know, some primary emotional states, you know, feeling states mad, glad, sad and afraid. We’re, we tend as men to be very connected with a mad and very under connected with sad, glad and afraid, and sad and afraid, used to lead us towards anger because we’re not connected with them. And as a child, as a kid, if you can learn to notice those things in your own mind. Yeah, you can understand who you are, where you’re at, and begin to connect with those emotions, so you can handle them in a healthy way. Oh, my God, aren’t they gonna be miles ahead of today’s men? When they become fathers themselves?

Sheila Duncan 26:43
Exactly. Exactly. And you know, I think the most beautiful thing about this, the stories is that, and this has been from the beginning, this has been from the very beginning, even when we just had the coins and we didn’t have a plush dog is that kids would say, could you give one of these to let’s say, Freddy, he’s in a wheelchair. Could you give one of these to you know, Eddie, he’s on crutches. And that’s been a theme. And it’s, it’s become even more powerful with with derrius his campaign, you know, because I had no idea it was going to become as big as it as it is now. You know, he’s really touching a lot of hearts.

Jason Palmer 27:28
Oh, yeah. And it sounds like it’s a tool that’s building a lot of empathy in young kids. And yes, all you have to do is turn on the news or talk to somebody about politics, or COVID, or anything else to realize how, how absent empathy is, and most of Americans today are their foster care nation, if you’d like to find yourself in a group of like minded people toward Facebook, and you can find us@facebook.com slash groups slash foster care you j, we’ve got a group over there where we talk about foster care, we talked about adoption, we talked about all the things related. If your podcast player allows it, you can also reach out hit that subscribe button. So you get notified every week, when we put up uploads. Every Tuesday, a new episode comes out. We’d love to see you next week. Now back to the show.

Sheila Duncan 28:18
Right, exactly. And you know that the other thing too is that kids, it’s almost one, the foster kids know that this gift of trouble, the dog is coming from a child who he says I know how they feel. And I want to help them. I know how trouble made me feel I know how they feel. And I want trouble with them. I mean, that’s, you know, takes your breath away.

Jason Palmer 28:44
Oh, yeah. And it sounds like, you know, you guys are really building that empathy, muscle and a lot of kids. Yeah, it’s gonna change generations. And that’s one of the things I talk about a lot. Is that generational change that legacy that we leave behind us, because at the end of the day, there’s 100% rate that you and I are not going to be here one day.

Sheila Duncan 29:06
We’ll see about me. I don’t know, I don’t know about you, but I don’t have

Jason Palmer 29:09
I don’t have a timeframe picked out yet. But I know we’re gonna be gone. But what what is our kids, our grandkids, the people who knew us that people we lived around and worked with that our families, friends, what are these people going to say about us? What’s going to be different in the world 100 years from now, because of who we are today. And I often say that right now, at this very moment. We off we have to stop and realize that we’re writing our obituary, and it sounds to me as if you’ve really helped dairies figure out how to how to write that obituary from a very young age.

Sheila Duncan 29:43
You know, he’s a very, very special child. And, I mean, I’m going to give you another example, for his communion, his first communion. You know, he received gifts, you know, from people and, you know, check and stuff and he wanted to take that money to buy travel dogs for kids in foster care. I mean, this is all this is with no one prompting him. This is all from him. And he, he’s going to inspire a lot of kids, I think, you know, trouble inspires kids, which, I mean, you have to say to yourself, trouble is so much more than a stuffed animal. You know, I mean, trouble is inspiring kids everywhere to help other kids. And my goal with him, ultimately, is to turn them into a cartoon series. You know, as as a sweet puppy, who has adventures, you know, helping we call them and it’s very unlikely living a life

Unknown Speaker 30:56
Scripps

Jason Palmer 30:57
foster care.

Sheila Duncan 30:59
And really,

Unknown Speaker 31:02
we talk about adoption, we talk about all the things

Jason Palmer 31:07
don’t hit that subscribe. Every Tuesday and new episode comes out. Back to the show? Absolutely not. If you look at our history, look at the archetypal stories, and the unlikely heroes one of them the next with people over over the decades, probably centuries, if we were to go back far enough, but Pinocchio, as an unlikely hero, the Star Wars stories that Harry Potter stories, generation after generation has had some sort of archetypical story told about an unlikely hero that comes in from a difficult place from a place of tragedy. Yeah, and then changes a world.

Sheila Duncan 31:49
And of course, trouble started, you know, he was abandoned. And this was this was Kendra’s original story that he was abandoned in a box in New York City with other puppies, you know, the other puppies ran away, and he was all by himself. So one of his slogans is when trouble comes, you’re never alone. Another one is with his trouble, there’s hope. You know, and I could go on and on and on. But kids, they’re drawn to this puppy for a million different reasons. So I’m just the I’m just the wind beneath his wings tell you the truth.

Jason Palmer 32:28
You know, one of the things that I’ve said time and again, is that the wisdom of kids has taught me a lot. And this is another great example of that, where you just have some kids who, who are sharing wisdom that they don’t even realize is wisdom. They’re just there. Well, maybe they’re just too young, and to be dumb enough to realize that they really can make a difference in the world. And all those little things that look like they might get in the way aren’t necessarily obstacles. They’re just the next challenge overcome.

Sheila Duncan 32:57
That’s correct. Yeah, they’re, they’re amazing. They’re amazing people. And I’ve had the privilege of meeting so many kids that that really, they inspire me to keep going, you know, because I mean, this has not been a it’s been a wonderful, magical journey, but it hasn’t necessarily been an easy journey. It’s just that I am. At every stop propelled to keep moving. Definitely.

Jason Palmer 33:27
Yeah. And don’t we all need a piece of that, that motivation to keep us moving in a direction that makes the world a better place? Right. Right. Because it’s so easy in today’s world to watch the news to get angry about politics, whatever sports? I mean, I don’t understand it. I’ve never been a big sports guy, but my God, have I met some people who got upset about a call in a football game.

Sheila Duncan 33:52
Yeah, well, you know,

Jason Palmer 33:54
maybe. And at the end of the day, it doesn’t make a difference. Nope. But if we can find the motivation to make a difference in the world,

Unknown Speaker 34:01
exactly.

Jason Palmer 34:02
I mean, because so many people look at our world, they look at our politics, who want to hollow out the politicians, whether you think Trump is a genius, or the devil, or you think Obama is wonderful or horrible, I don’t really care. The truth is, is that neither one of them is going to make my life better. Nobody’s going to make the world a better place other than me, and you and derrius and the kids that you guys are helping with trouble because that starts to change communities is from the inside,

Sheila Duncan 34:35
right? It’s true. Yeah.

Jason Palmer 34:37
Yeah, to grasp

Sheila Duncan 34:39
one step at a time. You know, just one way of doing it just one smile at a time one child at a time.

Jason Palmer 34:46
I love that because one child at a time means that that one child is going to eventually grow up and be an adult. And that could be a parent and a grandparent and an uncle and a friend and a mentor. And every one of those is going to have Such a long legacy left behind them because you sat down with your niece. Yeah. And, and took her seriously for a minute. And you guys created something amazing to change the world.

Sheila Duncan 35:11
Thank you. And you know, she was very interesting because she was very definitive. right from the get go. I said, What trouble? What color is trouble going to be white? She said no gray, I thought gray. But he could be a boy or a girl. You know, I mean, some kids think he’s a girl. He can be any gender, he can be any nationality. He can be anything they want him to be. Um, so as I say that there’s something big going on here. And I’m just, I’m just glad to be a part of it.

Jason Palmer 35:49
Yeah, it’s always amazing to be part of something that that’s grown that big. Not gonna ask, you know, at this point, this is where you’re at in life. Yeah. Where did you come from? Personally, what your own personal backstory?

Sheila Duncan 36:02
Well, my backstory is that I come from a family, my dad was an owner, restaurant and bar. they wound up to be world famous. Because he was the first person to serve a drink and a 16 ounce glass. That was his invention. So people just love that. And I prior to I worked with him, and prior to that, I worked in the tribe, I was educated as a teacher. There were no jobs, I went to LA work for a lawyer came back work for a travel company. And then my father would say, come to work for me, honey, you know, it’ll be stress free and work three or four days a week, I’ll get you a puppy. Okay. Well, I went to work for him. Because I finally the commute was too much the travel business was just too much. And he unfortunately, almost immediately was diagnosed with cancer. And he passed away five years later. So in a way, it was maybe meant to be that I came to work with him, you know, because I wound up with my sister taking over the the restaurant and everything. And then years went by, and there were there were a lot of things going on in our town. You know, they dug up the streets for three years. So you couldn’t physically get to the restaurant, that was a problem. They went non smoking. And so people who smoked, you know, stopped coming. And on and on and on. So it was almost like the decision to sell was made for us. So we did, and shortly after we sold then my mother was diagnosed with cancer. So and shortly after she passed away was when Kendra and I were sitting in my living room here. And when she first drew trouble the dog so I think, all paths for me, sort of led to this little dog.

Jason Palmer 38:13
What a journey of an unexpected turns because

Sheila Duncan 38:17
totally

Jason Palmer 38:19
Well, maybe, maybe if you go all the way back to training and education, you’re probably trained to communicate well with kids.

Sheila Duncan 38:27
It could be and what actually I was a business education teacher, you know. So it was just almost like I suppose your journey is, is winds up being what it’s supposed to be. And I’ve been very tuned into different nuances throughout this trouble journey. You know, we’ve had a few opportunities to bring trouble to a high level, but they’ve not been the right opportunities. You know, he’s so much more than just a character who gets into trouble. He’s I said, you know, he needs to help kids at the same time. And that’s a piece that is becoming more and more important in today’s world. I think so. You know, can he be a great cartoon character? Absolutely. Is he just a regular puppy that just gets into trouble? Nope. So I’ve I’ve not gotten myself into trouble yet. Let’s put it that way.

Jason Palmer 39:30
Yeah, yeah, that’s good news that you haven’t gotten yourself there yet?

Sheila Duncan 39:34
No. And I don’t plan to either. So you know, all that glitters is not gold. So yeah.

Jason Palmer 39:40
Well, I’m glad you guys have kind of formed your own image for your own vision for what what this is going to become in a way that’s going to help kids because the numbers don’t lie. We have almost a half a million kids in foster care right now at this.

Unknown Speaker 39:55
Yep. Yeah,

Jason Palmer 39:56
those aren’t all the kids in trouble. That’s correct. Yeah. My wife’s own story is one of those stories where she was a kid who should have been in foster care. Yeah, she did not. Nobody ever, ever, you know, the timeframe she grew up in, people overlooked a lot of stuff, and she never ended up there. And today’s world, I think we have a better system for catching that. Yeah. But there’s still a lot of kids who’ve been through so many struggles, that should be in foster care, that should be receiving some sort of help and support. And if we can’t get them into into a home where they can receive that support in a, in a traditional method using a government agency, I mean, how much? How much better is the world going to be that, that you guys are reaching out to kids and helping them in the way that you can? As Sheila Duncan, not the government agency, you guys are doing amazing work there.

Sheila Duncan 40:47
Thank you. And, you know, I picture you know, we’ve done a lot of work with bringing trouble to hospitals, and that kind of stuff, too. We’ve done a lot of team building events and things that, you know, where a corporation will invite us to come to, you know, Nashville, or Atlanta or whatever. And we’ll tell our story. And the executives, then will we have troubled dog houses which are out of stock, now the executives can decorate the dog houses and stuff. And then the houses in the books go to a children’s hospital, though, I envisioned this cartoon with beaming into hospitals and foster homes and also just homes around the world to let kids know, it’s okay to talk about what’s going on that you know, what, maybe maybe having a night terror is is something you want to talk about, as opposed to just closing up. So I think of this cartoon as, as an opportunity. Not even for kids that are in quote, terrible trouble, but just kids that want to talk that need to talk. And so it will just be so much of a larger reach, you know, or a child that’s in a in a homeless shelter, you know, that maybe can’t have a troubled dog to hang on to at that moment, but can still know that there’s a puppy out there looking out for them, it’s telling them, it’s okay, it’s okay to talk.

Jason Palmer 42:29
Yeah, that’s one of the things we’ve dealt with with kids a lot is understanding that we have to make it a safe place for them to be able to have those conversations. And, you know, you talk about the night terrors and, and we’ve had some of that wisdom, the kids because some of our kids saw things like murder happen in front of them at a very young age. And that led to the the real night terrors, you know, in the night terrors. When I was that that’s so much more than a nightmare. When they get to that point, they’re not even really awakened. When once you wake them up, they’re still in the middle of that terror. Right? And learning to talk about that later.

Sheila Duncan 43:05
Right. Exactly. And, you know, sometimes, if kids, if kids could see these puppies going through things on a, on a screen on a on a TV screen, and you know, foster parents, or parents or whoever it is sitting with them, then that opens the dialog to you know, because they’re the puppies are experiencing different. We’re gonna call them adventures, but the different things that might happen in life, you know, that that will open up the door for kids to talk. And this cartoon can be funny. This is not a deep dark cartoon series. This This can be funny. It’s it’s just got a level that is gonna reach out to the kids and let them know, you know that what they’re going through is safe to talk about.

Jason Palmer 43:58
Yeah, yeah. Funny and real.

Sheila Duncan 44:00
Funny and real. That’s the best way to put it. Yeah, funny and real. Yep.

Jason Palmer 44:04
Because life is hard. And a lot of these kids know that even without having to have that conversation explained to them. They know that because they’ve experienced it.

Sheila Duncan 44:12
That’s correct. Yes, exactly. Yep. So yeah. So you know what, it’s all good. And and I’ll tell you, I love to tell you a quick story. One of the last team buildings that we did before the before the pandemic, there was a gentleman who was particularly kind to me, and he did a lot of camera work and stuff like that. And his boss was very kind to me, too. And so he saw how the adults were reacting to trouble. But he had not seen a child’s reaction. So I said, You know what, why don’t you take travel home with you? Because, you know, we had a little girl and make a long story short, he sent me a note and he said, You know, I know you talked about the magic My daughter doesn’t have any problems. And he said, I cannot believe what I’m seeing with this trouble dog and my daughter is right there. 24 seven. So it’s not just me talking about it now, you know?

Jason Palmer 45:15
Yeah. And it’s hopefully a lot of people talking about ways to help kids and hard times.

Sheila Duncan 45:22
Exactly.

Jason Palmer 45:23
Because even a kid who’s raised in a good environment, is going to have their own level of difficulties. Because one of the things that people forget sometimes is our worst day is still our worst day. And whether your worst day is, is having, you know, seen violence, murder, experienced drugs and domestic violence, or your worst day is something much less notable among society, it’s something much calmer, it’s still your worst day. Right? And kids don’t yet have that perspective to understand that.

Sheila Duncan 45:56
Right. And, you know, for some kids, it’s it’s as simple as being anxious on a zoom meeting for school. You know, they have a beautiful home, they have loving parents, but they’re nervous about zoom. So that’s what this little girl trouble was troubles on all the zoom calls.

Jason Palmer 46:15
It’s funny, you mentioned that because right at this moment, on the other side of that wall, there is a little boy who is on a zoom call that does bring him anxiety.

Sheila Duncan 46:24
Yes, yes, I get it. Yeah, I’ve

Jason Palmer 46:26
seen it myself. And, and I don’t understand why that brings him anxiety, I just have to know that it is, yes, find ways to help him cope through it. And it sounds like you guys are really, really working towards creating a way for for parents, foster parents, adoptive parents, while parents, whatever, to create that that calmness, so they can be more anxiety free in those hard times.

Sheila Duncan 46:48
Exactly. Well, you know, and as you saw on the news clip with derrius, he said that, what does he say? Trouble makes him feel safe all the time. It works for him? He says, definitely, you know,

Jason Palmer 47:04
Sam, felt safety is something that’s super important for kids, right?

Sheila Duncan 47:09
Yes, correct.

Jason Palmer 47:10
Exactly. If you don’t feel safe, and you feel threatened, you know, I’ll break off into my nerd science a little bit here. But that’s the part of the brain, the amygdala is a part of the brain that gets triggered then. And when the amygdala fires up, it operates on a real simple set of code. And it just says, I have to survive. Yeah, doesn’t say I have to do this, well, I just have to survive. And most of us when we end up in that part of our mind, because even as adults, it’s still there, we still we still act on it probably as much as the kids do. Right? That that wiring is just there to help us survive and not to help us thrive. Exactly. And the coping mechanisms you guys are working on helping these kids develop is going to help them thrive and start doing that at a much younger age, because most of us didn’t realize how to handle that. When we were nine years old. It sounds like there is this is a super special kid who’s figured out the value of that and is trying to spread it.

Sheila Duncan 48:05
He You know, he really is and and the thing is that it was all what am I trying to say? It was all him, you know what I mean? His mother is the one that came to me and said, I cannot tell you how helpful This dog is to my child. So it was this is nothing to do with me at all. You know, she didn’t know any of the backstory. She didn’t know about Kendra, she didn’t know anything. All she knew was that he was given trouble by, you know, a social worker or a therapist, and that he is magical for her son. And because of that derrius wants to pay it forward. And I don’t think you can get any more powerful than something like that.

Jason Palmer 48:55
You You’re 100%. Right. Thank you. Because how can you get more powerful than a kid at that young of an age being empathetic for the people around him? Even the kids who don’t does not know, but he knows that the kids have been through what he has?

Sheila Duncan 49:10
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely. Yes.

Jason Palmer 49:13
That’s a perception that most adults don’t even don’t even carry with them. So that it’s just amazing to hear that. Even though he may be went through his own trauma. He is already starting to help other people.

Sheila Duncan 49:25
That’s Yes, that’s correct. Yes. Yeah, he’s an amazing child.

Jason Palmer 49:30
Yeah, this world is going to be different because of the way that that kids like him, change it. And there’s also going to be different because of the way that a lot of other people change it and maybe not in the best ways. So I want to really reach out and support this, this, this movement any way that we can.

Sheila Duncan 49:49
Thank you. Well, you know, I tell derrius that I say you know, I know you think the john cena and the rock did great guys and they do great things, but to me, you’re the superhero.

Jason Palmer 50:01
Yeah, but you know,

Sheila Duncan 50:02
cuz he is

Jason Palmer 50:03
every little boy’s got to enjoy the smell and what the rock is cooking right?

Sheila Duncan 50:07
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, I get it. I get it.

Jason Palmer 50:13
Yeah, I can’t tell you the last time I saw any wrestling on TV but as a young boy, it was cool to watch right?

Sheila Duncan 50:20
So yeah. JOHN CENA is from West Newbury originally I guess According to derrius, which is not too far from where we live, so yeah. But he dairy is to me is a superhero because he’s so selfless, you know?

Unknown Speaker 50:37
Yeah, wants

Sheila Duncan 50:38
kids to have the same comfort that he’s getting from trouble. So it’s very cool. He’s a very cool kid.

Jason Palmer 50:45
That’s amazing. It’s amazing. Well, I really appreciate you coming on here and sharing your story about derrius and Kendra and all the women who are helping you get this this process rolling. Thank you and giving the credit to the people who are out there helping you help the world.

Sheila Duncan 50:59
Yep. Thank you very much. We’ll see what happens next.

Jason Palmer 51:03
Well, and I’m certain something is coming down the road for you guys. That’s just the way that it works.

Sheila Duncan 51:08
Yes, it’s correct. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 51:11
And we’re ready.

Jason Palmer 51:14
Well, let’s let the rest of the world get ready for this too.

Okay, foster nation. Thank you for listening to Sheila story, that take her knowledge and wisdom to heart so you can create love and healing in your family and community. Be sure to come back next week. We have new episodes every Tuesday. If you’d like to share your story as a guest, you can reach us at foster care uj@gmail.com or setting up a new email address that is active now as well. You can reach us at Jason at foster care nation.com as well. You can connect with other like minded people on facebook@facebook.com slash groups slash foster care uj. And don’t forget, we have a Patreon where you can support our mission for as little as $5 a month. It’s at patreon.com slash foster care nation. The links to everything are in the show notes on your podcast player or foster care nation calm, especially the stuff to find trouble the dog so that you can either buy one for your kid or a child that you know or donate one to a kid that needs help. And as always,

Unknown Speaker 52:19
you are so super awesome. Thank you guys.

Unknown Speaker 52:27
Thank you. Thanks. Thanks