Faith Finds Hope Through Adoption with Faith Ehiozuwa

Jason Palmer 0:01
Wait, stop, hang on, don’t hit the jump ahead button yet. I get it, I do the same thing, skip over the commercials, right. But this one is kind of timely, it’s real quick, if you’re listening to this when it comes out on February 9, on the 18th, here in just nine days, a week and a half or so ahead, we’re going to have a webinar upcoming about how to become a foster parent. So if you’re interested, listen up to what we have to say here and just go to the website at foster care nation.com. And there is actually a sign up button right there on the website for you. So if you’re interested, listen in. If not, go ahead and jump ahead, get past it, I get it. Foster Care nation. Listen up, we have some exciting news to share. We’re going to offer up our first ever webinar, if you’ve ever been curious about what it takes to be a foster parent and help kids in hard places. Join us on February 18, at 5pm Central for our free no obligation webinars, we’re going to share our hard earned knowledge and experience with anyone who has ever wondered about helping kids from hard places. If you’re interested, go to foster care nation.com and sign up for our newsletter. This is where you can get the details and the links to join us so that you’ll be able to ask any questions you have in the question and answer section. Now, I know what you’re thinking, webinar, free, no obligation webinar, it sounds like there’s a sales pitch at the end. I’ve listened to a lot of webinars guys, I know what you’re thinking, I don’t have anything to sell you. I don’t have anything to sell you. I promise I don’t have anything to sell you today. But what we are going to do is try and support you and help you join us in our mission to help kids. And if that’s what you’re interested in, come see us. I promise you, we’re not selling anything today, we’re just going to offer up our experience our knowledge, and try and help some people who are interested in helping kids. As you can tell in the background. I have some kids, they’re here, they’re noisy. And I’m not even going to try and quiet them down at this time. Because I’m not going to get that done. They’re wound up out there. But you know what they’re happy. And that’s what we’re looking for. We’re just trying to provide a safe place for kids to try and help them to some of their traumas, some of their things and make the world a better place. And if you want to join us on that mission, we welcome you to show up February 18, at 5pm Central. Like I said, foster care nation.com sign up for the newsletter. And that’s where you’ll have all the information. Thank you so much.

Foster Care nation, listen up. This is

Unknown Speaker 2:32
foster care and

Jason Palmer 2:39
string for the powerless courage for the fearful hope and healing for wounded hearts.

Welcome back to foster care. And I’m parallel journey with Jason and Amanda. Today, we have faith with us. I don’t mean faith, like necessarily faith in religion or God. I mean, faith. I’m gonna give this a shot here.

He hosszu Yeah, nevermind, I had it in my head earlier, eco Zilla or say, Allah to save faith, because you’ll get it much more right than me.

Faith 3:23
Well, you try give you that. So it’s pronounced a field? What? Kinda

Unknown Speaker 3:31
are you doing today?

Faith 3:33
Oh, I’m doing great. I’m doing good. Thank you for asking.

Jason Palmer 3:36
That’s great. You know, I was listening to a podcast after podcast because I drive for living as a lot of people know. And so I spent a lot of time on the road. And I’m always looking for new podcast and yours popped up and I said, oh, let’s check this out. This is interesting. And your story just kind of blew me away. I mean, just the simple fact that even in talking to you, we have to have to really think to figure out how many siblings you have. Because your foster parent or your adoptive parents have been a foster adoptive home for a number of years. And I think at the time, I heard you talk a while back, you were somewhere around 10 siblings. I know now it’s up to like 17 or 18. But what a story, you know, for somebody who came out of out of Liberia, and has turned her life around and is now talking about it on her own podcast. So why don’t you tell us a little bit about your story. So we can kind of just get to know you a bit.

Faith 4:34
Yes, well, first of all, I just want to say I’m very excited to be here with you and the wife, and also with your audience.

I’m very grateful for this opportunity to share my story. You know, of course, adoption. It’s more than a topic for me. It’s my life experience. Right and, and I’m thankful for you guys allow me to be here to share my story. So just a little bit background about myself. So as you mentioned earlier, Jason I was adopted at the age of 14, Africa, and a country called Liberia, a beautiful country that I grew up in and learn a lot of my traditions and cultural so Gurbani often niche for a bit, I was blessed enough to be adopted. And I came to the US at 14 years old in 2005. And, you know, went to school. And it’s now starting my own family and trying to use my story to change people and just to empower and also to inspire others and and now just trying to, you know, be that person who wants to get back into much more of society that has done so much for me.

Jason Palmer 5:46
That’s that will be all need is to give back more when we from what we were given, that sets a great story faith that you’re given back from where you came from, you mentioned that you were adopted at 14 from an orphanage in Liberia. Can you talk about the experience of being in an orphanage in Liberia? Because honestly, all I know about Liberia is its rough geographical location. It’s over there by Africa, right?

Unknown Speaker 6:13
Yes.

Jason Palmer 6:14
And I know that it was in the news at one point. And not much of it sounds like it’s it was real pleasant news that they were talking about at the time wars and things like that. So I imagine coming out of Liberia, you probably had a story to tell about your childhood.

Faith 6:30
Definitely tasting. And, you know, the beauty about having the news is you get to learn a lot about other countries, and sometimes maybe bad news in programming, the good news. And unfortunately, for Liberia, you know, a country that I love so dearly, there was a lot of negativity that came out of there because of the 14 us Civil War. So a little bit, buddy, I’ll finish life. I grew up when I was about 10 years old, I was taken to the orphanage in Monrovia, which is the capital city of Liberia. And so I lived on the orphanage for four years. And then I was why on the alternate course, during that time, we had a lot of war going on around us. So the war that actually started in Liberia in 19 1989. But by around 1998, when the war really kind of took off, really because we were in the middle of a new transition with elections and all of that stuff but so I was always I was pretty much very young. Right? And, and my auntie who raised me She always the climbing wall baby. And I thought how what attracted me to call the child right war baby, and but come to find out later on in life that because I was born during the war, my feet at night, and then the war actually started. And that’s why they called me a little baby. And so there was many more babies that were born during the year. And unfortunately, some of them they end up living, living on to continue this life. I was blessed enough. So I went to orphanage because my, my auntie who raised me couldn’t afford to send him to college to send them to basic school. So yeah, I was taking to the orphanage and there I there was about 150 of us on this orphanage. It’s often it was notorious for lots of bad things. There were a lot of child trafficking No, not at times. Of course, when there’s war, there’s always going to be chaos. So we kind of really tried to manage as much as we could, as young kids on the orphan they’re trying to survive, you can imagine by for those of you who have been experiencing war, it’s never it’s a lot of hardship that comes with it. So we try our best to survive on the afternoon, on the streets, trying to do what we could to survive. I’m sure we the you know, I was blessed enough to get adopted.

Jason Palmer 8:56
Wow. Being a product of of that has to have left it scars in your life somewhere.

Faith 9:05
almost definitely. Um, you know, and I, I know that with what I went through on the automation, it was, it was a lot of difficult time difficult things that I experienced. So yeah, it definitely affected me mentally, physically, just emotionally in every aspect of my life and also create a lot of trauma for me too.

Jason Palmer 9:28
I would expect that that T word to show up trauma shows up in a lot of those situations. Have you have you done any sort of trauma counseling and that sort of thing work through that since you’ve you’ve gotten a few years older than you were maybe 10?

Faith 9:44
Yes, you know, I’ve done some that I feel I can always do more. Just if you think about trauma and just the way everything happens when I was just, you know growing up there not just the war but growing up in my immediate family home in Africa, I had abused also I was abused. And so when I went too often, that kind of carry on there so, and over the years, you know, being an adult, I was able to take some counseling and really try to help myself, just because I know how much I’ve been impacted by my past and my past always seemed to creep up and be proud of my present. So I needed to find a way to kind of understand all of it, and process it as much as I could. And so it’s been very helpful, honestly, once I recently went to see a diagnostic psychologist, and it was the first time I actually met with a behavioral person, and he was able to help me a lot. And now I’m in the process of getting that really focusing on the trauma, which is my it’s travel trauma that I have and carry and be evidence xiety. So just stuff like that, I’ve been able to what I’ve been working on the SI gold. So it’s a lifetime process, I think,

Jason Palmer 11:02
yeah, but you seem very self aware of what you’ve been through, to be able to, to realize that and then be intentional about getting some therapy and counseling and bringing some psychologists on board to make sure because in this world, and I, I know you you grew up, not in a standard American culture, necessarily from a very young age. But we’re out here in mid Missouri. And I spent a lot of time in St. Louis. And I know that in a lot of the urban areas around here, that mental health piece is something that people really frown on, on looking at realizing that man, you might have some things wrong with you. And I might even have been one of those people at one point in my life until I realized some things were wrong with me. And God knows there’s a list over there and ask her she’s laughing for a reason. But yeah, just realizing that you’re that you have those things and then being willing to work on it that that’s says a lot about the person that you’ve become. So when you were 14 years old, you were adopted out of that orphanage into the US, tell me what was that like, because that’s, I’ve heard so many different stories about international adoption, it seems like each and every one is so very different. And the way that it happens and the way that people respond to it. Hey there foster care nation, we’d like to take a quick minute to step out of the podcast here and ask you guys for a little bit of support, if you could share an episode with people, friends, in a group, with family, anywhere where there’s somebody who would like to hear this. Also, if you’d like to join us and support our mission, a couple dollars a month would be really helpful. You can find us on patreon@patreon.com slash foster care nation. Now back to the show.

Faith 12:54
Most definitely. And that’s the beta by adoption, right. And there’s not one story, I feel like, we all have our individual unique story. And it’s authentic, and real to us based on what we went through. And, and I feel like adoption, also a can bring a lot of feelings that when we talk about it, it can also it could be either a negative feelings, sometimes it could be a positive feeling. And just sort of whoever it is, right, we’re really talking about adoption. And based on your own story, and often I think it comes with, like so many stories, right? When we go through a lot of live events, those events, the nukes experience, it becomes a part of our stories. And, and for an adopted child, like, like I am, and I have been, obviously through many challenges and ladders, many different experiences of force, that I’ve kind of that’s going to help me really create this narrative and what I might call my story that I have to own, even though it was not ideal, at some point, right, some of the experiences and like, things that I went through, they weren’t ideal. But yet they also who what built me up and built me to a place I am and a woman that I become a strong woman. So my story with adoption begin in Liberia. I was just on the orphanage trying to survive when the and the other kids. And I remember every so often there will be somebody from abroad, they will come through to the orphanage and we’ll come and take pictures of us all the kids on the orphanage and it was one of those things that we all gravitated to. And we enjoy having those visitors those gifts because for many of us, it meant that they were hope for us. There were some light at the end of this tunnel that we were going through during that phase of constant Civil War. And so when we ever whenever we saw those gifts come through, we knew there was hope. And so they always came through and so pictures of us and I remember vividly, they asked Leader, she will always get us all together and it will be a big deal, we all have to dress up. Not in a fancy clothes, but something that was very, that she really spoke of our poverty, something that spoke of a child who is, you know, really needing help. So our parents have to cry out to these guests and let them know and let them feel the suffering and they think that we’re going through the trauma. So we will all dressed up in our truck, our red clothes and lined up. And each of us will get pictures taken. But here’s the interesting, interesting thing for me. Because each time there was these gifts that come that came through to the orphanage, a lot of them came from America, from Europe. And at the time, I remember, they always have these big camera with them when they come through. And very kind hearted people, they’ll take pictures of everyone. But luckily enough, I don’t know if this is a locker or not. But I was never there to just get a picture taken. And it’s because I was always on the street, my friends and I, we felt like we cannot reliably stay on the orphanage. So we always, you know, went out the gates and try to be on the streets and beg for food and try to do what we could to survive in our in our environment. So as we go out to, I guess, hustle. It was during that time when these guests will come through and take these pictures of these kids. Now keep in mind, we have 150 of us on this orphanage. Right. So after all this is done and done. I remember one day I came home from one of my outings. And there was a lady there. She was an American lady. And she was taking pictures of all the kids. And I remember rushing through the to get to the lines and make sure my picture was taking too. And I forgot that I would have been about age 11 then, and she’s snapping photos of everyone. And I’m thinking Yes, this is funny, I get to get my picture taken today. I’m looking forward today. Well, once I got to this point where it was my turn, I remember she turned around I looked on you says I’m sorry, sweetie.

This film, we don’t have any more film. Next time, though, when we come back with a picture of you. Well, you can imagine as a little girl, I thought, why is this happening to me, I’m never going to be adopted, I’ve never been to be to have a sponsor. It was more like a sponsor ship is what we were trying to get. And I feel very down on myself. And so they wanted at that time. But I think God always had a plan, right? He had a plan and where he goes through things. So that was one of the time when I felt like well, this is never going to be something that I would ever experience, which is adaption. So I just kind of put it out in my mind why I was on the hospital and just kind of went in on the on the orphanage. And I just became to focus more on my survival and the oldest survival on the official what would you maybe tell me when I will will beg for food and whatever we need to do. I’m not proud to say this. But I became we all became petty thieves, which was something we were proud of looking back at that I think something when you’re hungry. And hunger would make you see things that you won’t do otherwise. So I remember going back and forth, we will come back home and admission we’ll call for the little kids. because keep in mind during this time the war has been going on for maybe 10 years. And a lot of the people that have it hits on the often and they have escaped because the wall is actually nearing our city where we were. And we have two rubber groups. One we’re on the right one was on the left. So we were in the middle of all of this. And so a lot of the kids parents have stopped coming to the orphanage to visit them. And we included so we had to really survive by ourselves. And so to make matters worse, the people on the orphanage the leaders they have is whenever the UN will bring food whenever a successor agency called welfare program, they will bring food to finish. Or nighttime the lady will sell all of the food. He will sell everything, bring a truck into the compound, and they will haul everything out they are under the orphanage and you all you could do was just washed in my night in the middle of the night and you just start to cry because you know, this is your oldest story of survival, but yet it was the soul. And so throughout this time, I remember thinking if I ever make it through here and this war doesn’t really end up coming to us in the middle of this city. I hope to someday just because somebody and do something with myself. So as the year goes by, we’re here on your finish. They start to we started seeing less and less visitors coming through for the right reasons because it wasn’t safe for the National Peoples to come like this guest from abroad to come on the orphanage because of the war. So there was one time of one of my best friends, honey, she came, she was on y’all finish together, we went to same time, they were by the same age. And we did everything together and the orphanage. So we just kind of had this bond. And somehow just by law, and by the grace of God, she got this family in New Jersey, they wanted to adopt an older girl, and she was 14 at a time. So, Sienna being adopted. So once she was about 1000, I remember the day she accident Africa, she, she pulled me to her, and she said, Hey, I’m going to America. But

I want you to remember this, I will never forget you. So that was that was for me, that was amazing. Because it was like, she was telling me that I’m going to do something for you. I didn’t know what she was capable of. She said, I will never forget you. And I want you to always stay on this often, which a lot of what happened to you never leaves up and it must stay here. Because I’m going to send for you. And in Africa, if a person goes abroad, and a person says, I will send for you that means I will come and get you out of this poverty. So you you as a child, you any hope any anything you can get to hold on to is meaningful. So for me, that was me. That was a sign to say I must stay here. So anyway, she left and she was adopted. She was 14, she lives in New Jersey adopted family. Over the years, I didn’t communicate with her force, as somehow she wrote a letter one day and kind of show pictures of her and I’m like, Oh my god, I think we should go to America, this My friend is having so much fun. So this story came about because my mother, my mother in America, she told me the story of how I was adopted. So my best friend who as a child, the orphanage had been adopted in 2002. She was while she was in New Jersey, how family had already adapted from my orphanage also. And so they were communicating to the agencies where the adoption agency. So my mother, in Montana, reached out to my best friend’s parents about the parents in New Jersey and said, Hey, we’re looking to adopt or they were planning on deputy another person from this office. And as God would have it, my friend, she was listening that did by my adopted family initially, but didn’t move quick enough. So they were already some another family adopted her this time about the hair. So as they were talking, one day, she had mentioned to her mother and says what does this I have this friend, his best friend on this orphanage? where I came from in Liberia. And I’m not sure whether she’s still alive due to the war. But if she is alive, I would love for her to be adopted also. So my parents, they relate to her parents, really, that’s my parents, my dad, the parents here in America. And my mother says she knew instantly that I meant to be hooked at her part of her family. So that’s kind of how the story happened when they then went through the agencies. And the agency actually came and found me on the orphanage

Jason Palmer 23:13
that foster care nation, if you’d like to find yourself in a group of like minded people toward Facebook, and you can find us@facebook.com slash groups slash foster care you J. We’ve got a group over there where we talk about foster care, we talk about adoption, we talked about all the things related. If your podcast player allows it, you can also reach down hit that subscribe button. So you get notified every week, when we put up uploads. Every Tuesday, a new episode comes out. We’d love to see you next week. Now back to the show. Wow, what’s the chances of that?

Unknown Speaker 23:49
I mean, that’s just incredible. And I mean, you’re, you’re still sitting here, and you’re talking to us. And it’s just I mean, for a child to have to go through as many traumas and trials. And you’re still upbeat, and you’re still trying to get your story out there and talk to people. It’s incredible,

Jason Palmer 24:07
and help other kids.

Faith 24:10
Yes, and I think it’s important to share stories because there is no such a good way to relate and to connect with other people. experiences. So you know, it’s not it’s not about you know, having a really well thought of live and having positive, whole public travel is about for me and just sharing my story. I may not be the best as to some people, but I think it’s my story and I and I need to share that. So when I was adopted before I was adopted, I remember the day like it was yesterday, a lady. Her name is Patty and she has an organization, a nonprofit in Liberia at the time. She came to my orphanage one day one night, and I remember one of the kids from the open house. Give me like, Hey, we have this lady. We have three white ladies that are here to see you. And I’m like, What? Why? And they’re like, Oh, they came to see you and they wanted to talk to you about something. But before I talk about x three, I remember, there was a this white woman, she came one day and she had this camera, she show up on your plane. And she had told us that she came from America, she was with the New York Times, I believe. And her name was Caroline cold. So she’s very well known person. And so she came to Liberia to do a shoot, she was a photojournalist, right? Can we do a story to do a story on the war and how they affected how the war was affecting young kids in Africa and Liberia at the time. And she really felt like you needed to share the story because the war the West needed to step in and stop this war on behalf of these innocent kids. So when she came in the orphanage one day, this photographer she said, Hey, guys, she told us that she wanted to make took a picture of each of us. But there was there was a place you want to actually take this picture, which was a swamp back of us in the in the back of our orphanage. And I know we all got so everybody’s so scared. And we’re like, there’s no way we can go. That’s one that’s one because I mean, there’s a lot of snakes in there. We have like alligator just stuff like that. So everybody was very afraid. And this is a salami so actually going to pick greens to cook and eat because we didn’t have any other means of food. But when she when this lady came in Caroline, she began to take pictures all of us. And so I decided, I raised my hand I said, Listen, I will be the volunteer, I will go into that farm. I don’t care what happened to me, I will post and I will take a picture. So we went and Karolina took this picture of me. And the picture, it’s it’s interesting, because I’m spending the swamp and I’m picking this Marina, she snapped this picture of me and we go to the orphanage, we were back to the health niche home and she’s looking at it, we’re looking at the picture on her camera, she’s showing that each of us honestly, they said it was that this was like the first time that I’ve ever felt like I was able to process the war and really see what the war was doing to people. Because through all those films, like when they say, when you hear people say a picture can tell it like a mini it’s possible that many wars and it can really look a story. I was like, this is amazing, because I saw how much the warheads took so many lives. I mean, she had a picture in there of the rebels at this place, and they have this port, this port we actually used to have where the food will come from abroad and they have to get to this port, and then you didn’t go in and get the food. They had learned all the cider rice, all the schools and things of it to them, like monkey to the sky. And the rebels were actually they were firing at it. And like destroying all the meats of food. And I saw that picture. And I remember that reminds me today, every time I think of it, I’m like, Damn, that’s crazy that people are so evil like that. And she said, Yes, she says, This is what the world is doing. And she said as a why we think it’s important for you to take a picture of us. She said, because no one has listened to any of this. I think it was like president george bush that was in the presidency. Then just like I mean, if he, I want him and everyone else to see your picture, to know that they’ve got to be somebody that needs to come and do something and stop the war. So but then she showed my picture. This was remember, like, this is the first time I can see myself in the mirror. And I’m thinking, this is me, like I was not myself, I was my marriage, I have become almost sick to the point I was going to kill a guy. And I was like, wow, this is crazy. And so she told me, she said when I get to America, my goal is to actually publish this and the times.

And to really read a story up and show the people. He says some of them may not believe it, some of them may watch it and just go back to the regular life. But I know somebody will actually see it and want to do something. And today, I can still look at that picture online. Because of her. I go to the LA The New York Times, and I see the pictures on there. And I’m like, wow, like, this is amazing that I actually got this office meeting. So when parents decided, why did I share the story, because once my parents decided they wanted to adopt me, unfortunately, there was no story. There was no picture anywhere for them to actually see me because a lot of times we adopted someone and you guys went through it. It’s just knowing what that person look like, right? And so they wanted to have that and they couldn’t have it because there was no picture of me and get this. This is my best friend who came to America in 2000 how she came with an orphanage, Arbonne which had like 150 kids in the big album. And I remember she looked through there and she didn’t see any picture of me whatsoever. So my parents are like, Okay, well I get this mosaico her we already know if I’m a mistake and she might be 13 around 13 or 14, that’s it when we were doctor, so my parents are about to sign a picture of me because of this photo journalist who has taken this picture of me in Islam. So my parents are able to look at the Times website, and they saw a picture of me for the first time. And that was it. That was adapted from now on. Yeah.

Jason Palmer 30:20
Yeah. The only picture of us is when you made it into the New York Times. Wow. That’s, you know, if we go back into into that timeframe, did you have any biological siblings that you know of?

Faith 30:36
I do, honestly, I, I am. This is actually in present. Now. I didn’t get to, like know my story a lot more. So I did some I did have my Polish from In fact, my mother and my father magically there are alive in Africa right now. I have there was 11 kids a lot. 11 children of us, my father said, but the seven alive. I’m the third child. So I have a big family I just didn’t know about because this is another part of my story. As a three year old, my father, my biological father had gifted me to his sister, my auntie, which is the type of tradition I guess she was married, she couldn’t have kids. So she was, you know, of course, in that part of the world. It’s not, you know, it’s frowned upon, right? So, when my father says, As the story goes, when my father and his sister they wanted to a life, when the mother dad, which is my grandmother, my auntie, my father’s sister took him in and raised him and sent him to school. So as that retain her, he, he said that if a sister cannot have a child, or brother has to give somebody you have to give the child to your sister, so I would say you’re the one giving to her as a gift. Because I was the oldest. And I would give it to her and so I never saw my family at all.

Jason Palmer 31:57
Wow, that’s crazy. Why? I mean, from from being more or less kind of adopted by your auntie first and then and into the orphanage and then again into America? I mean, what a ride.

Faith 32:13
Exactly. Jason I always think about it and sometimes like I was like, wow, you were you were already adopted. You’re already in the adoption were they already nonprofit? Because you know that was a former adaption being given

Jason Palmer 32:29
that’s that’s just wild I mean, my goodness what a ride you’ve had, and all the way to San Angelo, not San Angelo, I was stationed in San Angelo years ago, San Antonio, Texas, raising your own family that there now I mean, what an amazing journey you’ve had. That’s that’s got to be something for you to to have experienced and turned your life around so far to be able to, to understand that, man, life is difficult, but but you still have a smile on your face. And I I’m just I don’t know, I think I’m kind of blown away by that. Because I see a lot of stories where people talk about their, their journey through having been adopted. And so many people have so much vitriol and anger behind it, because they were taken from their first family but but you’ve walked through one heck of a journey and still come out the other side smiling and looking for places to help people not? I don’t know, if you’re if you have anger left in you, I don’t see it.

Faith 33:41
Well, thank you for that. You know, it’s it’s been taking me a long time, I think I’ve always been a person that I feel lucky. I feel that out of the 250,000 people live that were taken back in Africa, in Liberia during that 14 Year Award, I could have been easily taken my life could easily be been taken along with all of those people. Because I feel as though I have a lot of reasons to celebrate my life now I have a lot of reasons to want to be better and and be a person of kindness and be happy because why are they why would Why was he taking one my life have been taken in Africa. I feel it was a purpose behind it. And part of that purpose, I’m thinking it’s to be able to be something good to the society and and use my story, my voice to bring about good things and share my story in hopes of changing lives and helping people really see that. Yes, you may come through you may go through a lot of funds in your life. You may experience a lot of hardships, they may be a lot of roadblocks. A lot of dark holes, but you’re so Sometimes it doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be tarnished forever, you still have something good in your soul that you can still bring to life and be able to enjoy life.

Jason Palmer 35:12
Well, from the time that you were in the orphanage, back in the day until modern day, the internet has made a big world mighty small, have you been able to reconnect with your auntie at all?

Faith 35:25
Yes, I have a microphone. And thank God for all this. Technology is, it’s been such a big step in helping like minded people like myself, be able to reconnect, I gave her kind of my auntie, seven years ago, and along with my biological family, so I am in contact with them, usually through Facebook, which isn’t very helpful.

Jason Palmer 35:49
So how has life been going for them? I mean, I honestly don’t know how the politics or culture of Liberia is moving these days. So how’s life going for them?

Faith 36:01
Yeah, I mean, for them, I feel it’s a day to day struggle. There’s so much, there’s still a lot of corruption of what’s the upside is that enemy to say something that’s such, but it is the reality for them every day. The political, you know, atmosphere is still the same, right? There’s still that corruption, there’s still poverty. It’s just kind of come out, trying to figure out life and but I will say this, that Africa as a whole, including, I mean, like, there, it’s people that are just so, so forgiving. And they’re just so much. They have so much faith about life as a whole. And they hold so much, really to their traditions and their religion, to keep them moving forward. So no matter why there’s always going to be bad rulers, there’s always going to be people that are corrupt, and not wanting to do well by them. But I feel like they always have a way of pushing through and trying to find meaning in you know, one that seems to be none. So it life is still it’s still the same, honestly. But I think a lot of them, a lot of times they have nothing else to do, or there’s nothing else to really help for logistic people living off of this. But they’re doing okay.

Jason Palmer 37:19
That’s great to hear. That’s great to hear. Because here in America with our politics. I mean, we hope that people can keep pushing on because we may have a little bit of corruption and problems in our own system as well. Right.

Faith 37:32
I think everyone has some some form of that. It’s just the magnitude of it, right?

Jason Palmer 37:40
Yeah, absolutely. So I know that you now have your own podcast, talking to people about your adoption journey and stories of adoption, called lift all voices, what made you want to start your own podcast?

Faith 37:54
Yeah. So when I become very anxious, I became very interested in writing, this kind of sent from my adoptive mother, she really pushed me to write down things that I was going through and experiencing from my past. And she’s taught me to always have a journal. So I started writing very, very early on when I came to America. And so that really kind of helped me to express my feelings and my story, just write those things down. So over the years, as the years gone bad, I kept going back to those journals and writing and rewriting reading them. And I will tell you this, this was like for me at some a form of therapy, therapy. I really just kind of helped me expose all those grievances, all those emotions, feelings, and I was able to really feel like, Okay, this is I’m getting closer to understanding what things happened to me. And why did it happen this way. So once I started doing that, I realized that I needed to share my story. But honestly, it all started when I went to an event in San Antonio here, and it was about child trauma. And I learned so much this is about two or three years ago, and I learned so much about the effect on childhood trauma and, and how it carries on to an adult who were not treated or look upon. So I thought, this is something that I didn’t know. And I felt like this is something I can actually take and do something with. So I kept on writing. And I felt like, wow, there’s so many stories. I love to write. So I think if I can tell my story, and help somebody else see that, you know, what I’ve been through, maybe I haven’t been through it, but if they can share it and just express that story is a way of healing them also. So lift our voices. It’s a story 30 a storytelling platform. And what we’ve tried to do is to buy other people’s with different experiences. You know, it could be community leaders. It could be an immigrant. It could be anyone to come in and talk about this story and really have, because I feel as though sometimes our stories, it is so much to connect to a person when you hear the story because sometimes we mentor somebody without even knowing the background, like what happened to them. But when we actually hear the story, their authentic real story is there’s something with that, that kind of connects us to the human side of it. You know what I mean? So I think that’s why I’m very passionate about and looking into it, like, unlike I have to be able to tell a story. And I figure, well, this is something I want other people to also utilize, to share their story, and be able to connect with other people’s experiences, because I don’t know that we’re all human beings. And so that’s how this whole little voices kind of it just came about because of that.

Jason Palmer 40:45
Wow, you know, I’m always amazed when I get to meet people who come from such trauma, tragedy, struggles, you know, all of that really hard world, and they come out of it with an urge to help other people. You know, that’s, that just speaks volumes to who you’ve become. Do you? Are you still in contact with anybody that you were in the orphanage with?

Faith 41:07
I think, for social media, I am. And I see them all the time on Facebook, we communicate through there, and a lot of them are in the US. Some of them are in the US now. So we communicate there and Africa. So it’s just interesting seeing all of our lives and seeing what people are doing with their lives. Now you think, Wow, back that back in the day, like we were barely trying to survive, and we didn’t know we were going to be able to lift the cow story. But here we are. Now we are still moving forward in life. And I’m just grateful for that. And we’re all lucky.

Unknown Speaker 41:41
Yeah,

Jason Palmer 41:41
yeah. Cuz that’s a tough place to come from. But my gosh, if it’s not amazing to see people come out of that tough spot into becoming amazing humans. And here you are living in, in San Antonio, Texas, and, and helping other people out. Now. You look,

Unknown Speaker 41:59
nobody can see her. But I mean, she’s got a smile all the time. And it just seems like she has a spark. Thank you. Not everybody has that spark, especially after it’s broken out of them. So that’s really awesome to see.

Unknown Speaker 42:13
Appreciate that.

Jason Palmer 42:15
So with a last name, log, like he owes Zuma. Zuma Got it? Something like that. I’m gonna guess whoever. I know, that’s a married name. Right?

Unknown Speaker 42:29
It is. Yeah, I’m

Jason Palmer 42:30
gonna assume the whoever you married Probably. Probably is not like, I don’t know. I’m Mexican. Or,

Unknown Speaker 42:40
you know, American. Very

Jason Palmer 42:44
Americanized last name. So are you is are you married to someone else who came from Liberia or somewhere else? Or?

Faith 42:52
Yes. So he is from Nigeria. And we met in Salt Lake City, Utah. Yeah.

Jason Palmer 43:01
Of course in Salt Lake City that just makes the world to some amazing place. And you have three little kids who are going to get to learn to spell that name in kindergarten?

Faith 43:13
Oh, yes. They’re already trying to figure it out. And I’m telling you, it’s sometimes difficult.

Jason Palmer 43:20
Well, you know, we’ve been foster adoptive family for about a dozen years. And we have seen some names. So. Yeah, yeah, we we’ve had more than one that we kind of felt sorry for when it gets to kindergarten time. There was one little girl actually who lived with us for one whole night, I think.

Unknown Speaker 43:37
Yeah. So they were locating family. Yeah, we were just an overnight emergency.

Jason Palmer 43:41
Yeah. And we’re not allowed to give out a whole lot of personal information. But I can say, because I know I can’t say it, right. It was EMS. It was an M a bunch of O’s eyes and A’s. And I think it came out kind of like sounding something like Mariah. But this little girl I was like, Huh.

Faith 44:03
learning that new

Unknown Speaker 44:04
baby. And they couldn’t even tell us His name because the little girl didn’t speak well enough to Yeah, it was Wow. You know, baby, it was the natural. Yeah, it

Jason Palmer 44:14
was a little girl with an M. Name and her baby brother. That’s all we knew. We still don’t know what his name was to this day. But yeah, the name thing can be a real challenge for kids. And it’s always, always interesting to see them go through that when they as they go through their their young years. But I’m sure we all figured that out as we go forward.

Unknown Speaker 44:31
Oh, yeah.

Jason Palmer 44:33
Now, I know you have another project that you’re working on now. Because you know, helping helping kids isn’t enough. So we got to help other people, right. The lap of project is, you know, working with empowering women in Liberia. What What was the genesis of that? What made you decide you needed to start that project?

Faith 44:52
So when I came to America, I always felt there was something I needed to do back home in Africa and I know if this is, you know, When you have a roof, and you have that foundation, and a place where you learn so much, you know, so much hurt and so much things, and you just kind of been, I’ve always been tied to it. And I felt I needed to, because I think when you go through a lot in life sometimes, and that’s the thing, like I meet people who’ve been through so much more worse things than I have, and they still have joy, they still have happiness. And I think I used to think how that impossible but you kind of get in a place in life or point a point of your life, you just have to realize that in order for you to live fully, and really enjoy what we’ve been given what we’ve been blessed, and you have to move forward and in some way for this, not forget or forgive them, and move forward in life and be happier, and be grateful for where you are now, because you can change back then. But now you have the choice to move forward and make a more decent life. So I always wanted to give back and help those people in need. Because I know what it feels like to go someday without food and a little bit later feels like as a girl, young girl, and watching my auntie being abused and seeing other women not really treasure as they should have been in Africa and Liberia as a young girl, I realized that if I can do something to help empower a woman that will help her be able to empower her kids. And you turn also empowering for a whole community and a whole nation. So when this iPad project came about came about last year, in February, a friend of mine who actually sat down who did my adaption, and she has an organization is called acres of hope, International. And it’s a nonprofit of fabulous power three, I will see what, three, she’s been doing this for so many years, almost over 30 years. And she’s also been back and forth, right in Africa. So she reached out to me and said, Hey, babe, I have this idea in mind. And I’ve always thought that you’ve always been the person who I love to volunteer and do a lot of good things. So would you be willing to partner with me? And and I said, Well, how can you? How do you know like, I’ve been wanting to be something with with with education, for my people in Africa. And I just didn’t know how to go about it. And she said, Well, I hope you can join me. So I decided to join her in February last year when this pandemic hits. So we’ve been working on this for since then. And we just kind of been because of the pandemic flu supposed to go to Africa and things kind of slow down. But behind the scenes, we’ve been trying to put everything together and it’s been going so wild. So well, we have about there were supposed to be 20 ladies to sign up, we have 50 of them. But Kenyans sign up. And we tell them, Hey, we don’t have the funding right now, because we just started this project. And so we do already have a school down there, which the organization already have a school for kids. And so we’re going to be utilizing that building to for now until we build our own. So the laptop project really is something that really speaks to me, because I know a lot of these women, they’re very hardworking, and given the right opportunity, they can do a lot to really empower themselves. And to really be able to help the kids, you know, go to school pay for tuition pay for uniforms. And they really are the ones who helped fuel those economic growth in that type of country because the women are the backbone. They’re the ones who are doing the, the petty traits in the markets, and then they provided everything. So giving them an opportunity, like this skill to learn how to sew will not only give them something to be able to, you know, empower themselves, but also they can now use that skill to contribute to wherever they find themselves. And they can really be able to make them feel like there’s somebody and they can take care of themselves.

Jason Palmer 48:58
That’s amazing. What does lap a stand is that isn’t an acronym. does that stand for something or what does that mean?

Faith 49:06
Yeah, so the law is it’s a, so it’s a name for a fabric. So Africa fabric. If you ever seen one of those, they’re very barbering, and very colorful and very traditional. So it’s a law. It’s a fabric that we use the women use for many multipurpose uses, they use it for wrapping around the body. A lot of times they will use that laptop for putting the baby on the backs. If you see some of those photos. Yes, that’s that’s what a lot of it is when they carry the baby on the back with the with a laptop, and a lot of them will use it for putting on the head to carry load to its meaning. There’s a lot of money to the left by each individual person has their own meaning. But for me the law means protection because it protects the baby and it protects a woman when she weighs a lot but she feels proud. A lot of families also You know, celebration, celebrate serial events is, it’s well, it’s something that a lot of African will utilize the law to show kids how happy they are, is useful wedding ceremonial for all those different naming ceremony just very, very traditional. So the lover means a lot. And so when we were coming up with a name, we wanted to bring something that the woman can relate to. And we thought lap art is a great name. It’s a lot of African country use it, it’s just mean it’s called different in different parts of Africa. So for example, in Nigeria, a Nigerian person might see that and call it the Rat Pack. Right? Because you wrap it around your body, if you go to South Africa, and maybe call the pinion. And so it’s exact same thing, which is called differently. And the question now is, do

Jason Palmer 50:54
you guys have a website for your project?

Faith 50:57
Yes, we do. We just launched our website. It’s called the lava project.org. And that’s about acta.org. Okay. Yeah, that’s

Unknown Speaker 51:09
really awesome. You know, and to think of how much that program will help empower women to empower their children, and even literally change generations that way.

Jason Palmer 51:25
Absolutely, no, I know, you said they’re a 503.

Unknown Speaker 51:32
Yeah,

Jason Palmer 51:32
it’s a nonprofit. How about that? We’ll go with nonprofit, let’s just assume we have one or two wealthy people out there who are listening this who want to want to donate to that that’s something that that strikes our heart, do you guys have a platform for them to be able to donate? and help you guys out? Or is that on the website?

Faith 51:50
Yes. So we are because of the COVID-19, we can really do a physical lunch event. And normally, we’ll have to, you know, get together and do a little just to introduce the project. And but so what it is, is the organization, the nonprofit four acres of hope. And like I said, it’s a fabulously free nonprofit, which means it’s the habitat status, right. And so that’s the mean, nonprofit. So the laptop project is actually an initiative that’s creative from that nonprofit. Okay, so if they want it for those of you who would like to contribute or help us with this project, you can go to the laptop project.org. And you can donate through our donation of donate now, button from there.

Jason Palmer 52:40
That sounds like a great organization, because just like you mentioned earlier, as, as children, watching the UN food come in, who was donated from the UN who got money and food and stuff from people in countries where all that money was donated, and corruption takes it over. I find that these nonprofits that go out there with a good heart like yours, and your partners to actually intentionally help people are the ones who change generations.

Faith 53:08
Exactly. And I think that what you said is so true, because we, for me, I think it’s more important nowadays for us to not too much focus on just giving them like clothes and things like that. I feel Africa library as a whole. The people there they need to work, just like we all work for Thanksgiving, they need to work. And if they have, you know, the ability to do something like for example, our nonprofit that are initiated like a project, each woman that signed up, they have to contribute $7 that dollars. So some people might look at that and say, well, that’s too That’s crazy. That’s outrageous. Because these people are poor. They don’t have money to donate into a program. And this is a nonprofit initiative. But I was one of those people who thought of it like that until one of our partnership in Liberia, the person who oversee everything she had mentioned to us, she said yes, we have to have the women contribute to this initiative. This is the only way we can get them to get through this process. A whole year of sewing school. Yes, people can donate people have we have great people that have good hearts, I want to do best and want to do good. But I learned in life for you to be able to be successful and do well in something, you as an individual how to contribute to your own growth. So you don’t contribute to it. Company, you don’t take a serious, they may not have a minute for you. So we decided to have him put in something small as $7. And that way they have they are proud of them. It’s part of it. So if you go through this process of one year of school, you can now we can take that $70 at the end of the school year, the school year. We have a big fashion show that can now create and whatever you know They can use as $7 to buy materials. So it basically is an encouragement feed for the ladies to encourage them to want to do well. So that way they can use up on it goes back to them, they can buy fabrics create something for themselves. And the goal is to be that make them individual entrepreneurs, where they have jobs where they can create their own, they have they keep the machine, they can sew and create income for themselves. Of course, we have to be able to support them and teach them we have will be teaching them basic business entrepreneurial skills, and money management, which is basic budgeting for the future to know how to manage that. And that is because if you see someone to fish is great, they have to go to teach them the whole entire Saturday on how they can sustain that and not be able to come back again and be cast, like asking for handouts, basically. So we’re coming, we’re going towards that as a as a entrepreneur, opportunity for the women. That way we we can kind of get away from that handout, you know, that we are used to in Africa, and make them work for what they need to learn. Because education is something that you can, you can take away something they can always have. And they are going to be the mentors, I mentor the younger generations, until I’m home for a lot of these women, they don’t really have basic literacy, the literacy rate for women African, like there is, I think it was like 23%, it was like less, and these are like a lot of them are from the material side. So they don’t have the means of education or girl education was mine, it was important back then. So their generation came up without knowing anything about how to read or anything. So if you give them a skill, like sewing, they can really have something that they can empower them, they think, you know, I can do this, if I can make something of myself, I can create something for myself and my family, I can know that in a day, I did this, and it’s to benefit my family and a community. And they can then pull back into the community. And that’s what it’s all about. It’s not about, I give you $100 today, for the $100 might be gone. And you may come back for more. But if I teach you something, hopefully you can utilize that skill, and then be able to multiply that that’s what it’s about.

Jason Palmer 57:12
Wow, it sounds like they’ve really thought this project through quite a ways because that makes a whole lot of sense. You know, and, and the way you talk about the people of Liberia, I mean, I’m just encouraged with the amount of resiliency that appears to be they’re not only in their ability to just just survive, and in difficult circumstances, but also to be able to, to go create something out of nothing. And you know, come from a hard place. And well, and to be able to sit there with that smile we keep talking about you know, and I did want to ask you about one thing you mentioned earlier, you mentioned the idea of, of forgiving the past without forgetting it. Can you talk just for a minute about what that looks like in your life? As you look back? And you learned to forgive without forgetting?

Faith 57:59
Yes. So I what I used to be one of those who it was hard for me to understand. Why do I have to forgive people? After all, they hurt for me? Why do I have to be the one who have to say, Excuse me, I forgiving you when they hurt me. They should be the one. So I figured this out when I’m over here. As you can tell I’m a Christian. Over the years, I figure I went through a lot of hardship things that meant two things that I had to go through. My personality is very much of a person I worry a lot. So if you can, if you cope that with a lot of stress and trauma, it puts me in a position where I could end up with a lot of anxiety, phobia, things like that depression. So I had a bit of a breakdown. And I figure what all of this was coming from. It was from my past. Yes, it was the fact that I haven’t forgiven whoever the head of those people that have expressed that means that it’s such a negative way. I was carrying all this baggage and so much negative energy the whole time that I wasn’t happy. And I felt unless the only way for me to get out of this is for me to really say I forgive this person because forgiveness is not for those people that hurt me, it’s for myself. Right? It makes me feel. I think for me too. It’s a therapeutic because if I forgive them, I feel a little bit of a weight is lifted off of me. And that’s something I don’t have to carry anymore. Because the moment I feel like I’m carrying that burden. I feel so much more depressed, so much anxiety, so much all these different things that I don’t deserve in my life. I believe I’ve been through that experience. I’ve always know I really know what it feels like to be down and under and I know what it feels like to be Stefan I know how it feels like to be so much so like in a dark place. So why don’t want to carry that darkness with me throughout my life when I can just step out a little down and say listen I don’t need to carry this anymore. Yes, it happened to me, yes, all of these negative things happened to me. But I don’t have to carry it around all these years, because those are years that I cannot get back of happiness, because I chose to carry this. Right. So I realized I needed to forgive. Now forget, because you cannot forget something that is that, that change your chemicals in your brain that you accept. As a young child being abused, you cannot forget us anything we can’t forget. Well, however, I can go through this and know that I don’t have to carry this burning, I can say I forgiving you. So every time I hear that person’s name comes up, it doesn’t have to straddle me, I don’t have to feel like this is still affecting me so much so that I can speak of it, in order for me to speak of my trauma, and I have to be in a place where I’m not going to have constant PTSD. Yeah, I still have that sometimes. But it’s not to the magnitude where when I didn’t forgive, because and another thing about forgiving to me, I don’t feel like it’s like one and done. Because you have to think of it as all those years that you were experiencing those those trauma, those issues, it’s gonna take a long time for you to process it, unless you actually took the time to go through a professional and seek professional help, whether it be trauma informed 30,

then you actually are not really fully forgiving someone because you’re still going to have that stuff that you have in process coming back to you. And then when she gets through that, in that, when you get in that in a mind mindset, you’re going to always have to have that hit come back in and for that person, so we knew, we really want to forgive, you have to go through some type of process that helps you process the trauma. And then you also have to say to yourself, okay, I know this happened to me, I know this person did this to me. And I know that I can change what happened to what I can do right now I can actually try to figure out a way and the means to move forward. And you know, and for me, I knew that Africa was a tradition, the way things are sometimes you don’t expect people to apologize to you, because it’s a way of life. for them. It’s a way of life. That’s all they know. So I have to be, I had to look at myself and say, What happened to that person that made me and treat me the way they did, what type of trauma they had experienced themselves, that allowed them to feel like it was right for them to do what they did to me. So almost like putting myself in their shoes, which you know, that can be a bit of a big deal, big thing a big shoes to fill. But I wanted, I wanted to be able to figure out what is going on with them because we all have our own form of trauma. And they may have had something that just didn’t process that he honestly didn’t go through. And that’s that’s not excusing the bad behavior at all. But I wanted to make sure that I don’t keep tearing this on, and just destroying myself inside. And that person Africa, they live in that life. They’re doing everything we can to move forward, and how near I’m stuck in the past. I’m stuck in 10 years ago, when I could be going move forward and having a good time and enjoying my life to the fullest. And only we can make that happen. So I needed to try to at least Forgive me because not every single person because it takes time, but do it because I feel I need to let go and let someone that burning comes down and be a little bit more happier. One, I think that I feel those people that are able to forgive, I can feel that, that weight lifted. And that’s all I needed to do to move forward. And I said, the energy that I’m using to put into caring this person’s low and, you know, I can use that energy to better somebody else’s life to give someone else like given hope, given everything that I thought I missed. During that time when I was being abused, I can put that my whole energy into something else. For me, it’s charity work. And that’s what helped me also.

Jason Palmer 1:03:53
Wow, I think I’m starting to understand a bit of that smile you the theme that I’m hearing through this whole thing is just you finding a hope to look for, from all the way from from way back in your past to your present, and looking for hope in the future as well. And I feel like there’s a good possibility that, that what you guys are doing that really is going to help change a nation. And it’s amazing that you can do that. And a good portion of the world will probably not know about it, but we’re gonna scream it from the rooftops until people hear and listen up and choose to join in with somebody who chooses hope as a way of operation. So good on you.

Faith 1:04:31
Yeah, I just want to say, you know, it’s been such a pleasure Jason and your wife and Amanda, being here with you and sharing my story. I know it’s, it’s something that I’m in a way proud of, because I’ve been through it and I stretch through it. And I’m here now and I’m able to speak of my story that’s in itself shows that I’ve come a long way and I hope to continue sharing my story. My story with all the people And then I just hope that it as some of you were able to take something away, would I be forgiving somebody, that person that you’ve been, you know, worrying about all these years. And, you know, and really trying to get rid of some of those negative energy and I just pray and hope that everybody will find whatever they’re looking for, whether it be hope, peace, something, and just know that if you go to trauma, you can seek help and get help for yourself, do it for you and be able to get that wholesome life that you won’t get otherwise if you don’t get the help that you need. Thank you so much. I appreciate being here for sharing my story today. Thank you.

Jason Palmer 1:05:39
We appreciate you being here faith and whether or not they find their hope or not, they found plenty of faith here today and we appreciate you coming and sharing your story so vulnerably and honestly, with with all of our listeners, because I know that someone will find plenty of value out of this.

Unknown Speaker 1:05:55
Absolutely. Someone who needs to push to go on who needs that little bit of a spark to to find their way. You know, hopefully we reached that person today.

Jason Palmer 1:06:08
Okay, foster care nation. Thank you for listening to faith story. Now take her knowledge and wisdom to heart so you can create love and healing in your family and community. Be sure to come back next week. We have a new episode every Tuesday. If you’d like to share your story as a guest, you can reach out at foster care uj@gmail.com we’re also creating a new email address you can use Jason at foster care nation.com you can connect with other like minded people on facebook@facebook.com slash groups slash foster care uj. Don’t forget we have a Patreon where you can support our mission for as little as $5 a month. It’s at patreon.com slash foster care nation. The links everything in the show notes on your podcast player or foster care nation.com. And as always,

Unknown Speaker 1:06:54
you are so super awesome. Thank you